My Journey

Today is Thursday. Not my normal mufti day but once again I find myself in jeans at work. Not combined with the blister from hell creating red boots, but something comfortable and old and worn. Today I am going to lunch. The girls from my work are going on a "girls lunch". We are going to Macchiato's and I have been salivating over the menu for 3 days. I am pretty sure I will be having the entree of Prawns with tomato salsa served with a castle of rice?? "A Castle" What is that? And a side salad. Fairly point friendly - I think ;)

The girls lunch is on its second run with the first one taking place about 4 months ago. It is something we started to get all the girls together, get to know one another out of the work environment, and just enjoy the company of the girls without any of the blokes getting in the way. It is really great. I often think it is really difficult to find balance and peace when you work in a large firm. Each person, each group has their own agenda and needs to support their roles and their functions in order to survive. That can sometimes breed insecurities inside your own person. Having these lunches is a wonderful way for me to find some balance. I share a huge part of my daily life with these people and I don't want to sit behind a desk, closed away from everyone and have no interaction. That does not fit with me at all. I am very lucky that in the few short years I have been in Sydney and working in the city, I have made a very good and close friend at work. Having these regular contacts has opened the doors of communication within our group and made our work place such a nice place to want to come to each day.

Now if I can only work out a way to get them to do my job everyday so that I can spend the whole day blogging :) LOL - Not going to happen!

Posted by Margaret at 8:28:00 am | Permalink | Comments

In her daily journal Vix offers up a link to a female fitness expert or body builder for inspiration, motivation, or just to have a look at. I have a look at all of them and one has really struck a cord with me. Brandy Flores is a muscletech althete and spokeswoman and as a mother of a small child I was absolutely blown away by her incredible abs. You see, I have been getting a bit worried about mine - or lack thereof. As I am losing weight I can see the difference in the way my body is pulling in, in different areas. I have now a quite noticable waist. My knees have come in to the point where they don't rub when I am walking anymore. My arms have some definition. My thighs have come in too. And in all of these areas the skin is quite firm. But not so in my stomach & abs area. OK. I have stretched it out to here *holds extremely long arms out as far as they can go* twice for my babies and there was always going to have to be more work to do in that area. I had spoken with a guy at the gym who advised that a daily abs workout and diet control (got that covered) would be what I needed.

So, I printed out 3 work outs from Brandy's site. There is a 45 day Beginner, Intermediate, & Advanced abs workout. I am starting with Beginner. The workout did not mention the reps that would need to be done so I emailed Brandy with that question. She has not yet replied but I am not letting that deter me from making a start. So last night I did day 1. I did 5 reps on each side of each exercise. It felt pretty good so I did 5 more. I may not do 45 days in a row - which is my aim - but I will mark off my 45 boxes and then I will move onto the next one. I seriously doubt my abs will look like hers but they will look decidedly better than they do now and that is what I want.

And if laughing through a workout makes it work faster then I will have great abs in no time because I fell off my fit ball not once, not twice, but thrice in my attempt to balance whilst crunching and I could not stop laughing. LOL It must have looked hard though because no sooner had I packed it all away than DH got the ball out and tried to do them too. I laughed more at him ;)

Posted by Margaret at 8:26:00 am | Permalink | Comments

DH & I chose to be parents. When we decided we wanted to be a family we were very blessed that we got pregnant quite quickly - both times. We are extremely lucky that both our boys are fit and healthy and clever little monsters. I love the chaos that is my life and do not want it to be any other way. That doesn't mean however that I do not sometimes wish for a little time on my own. Time to do the laundry without having a "helper" re-sort the piles. Time to put away clean clothes without the clothes basket becoming a boat and the clothes are the baddies that had to be thrown overboard. Time to have a bath - when there is only me in it. LOL.

So upon return home yesterday morning I decided I would have my breakfast whilst catching up on blogs, then I would go and have a lie down - to get over my cold. Then, when putting the dishes back in the kitchen I thought to myself "I wonder what the dining table looks like again" so I cleared the table and put the toys, books, papers, clothes and rubbish all where it belonged. Well I couldn't have a clean table and not see the floor, so that got tidied too. Then the kitchen, then the bathroom, the hall, both boys rooms, and the lounge. When that was finished and I was mopping the floor I had to admit that I really didn't seem that sick after all. I think that the fact that I was a little sick, coupled with the sheer exhaustion that comes from living in a messy house, just got me down - and the opportunity to clean in a child free home was just too good to pass up on. Then I felt guilty because I really should have been at work.

BUT after a good day, where I did not let the fact that I was not feeling well dictate to me what I should eat, I feel refreshed, I feel happier, I feel so much better. I stuck to my points. I indulged a little (found the ww frozen apple & cinnamon sponge and the sticky date pudding - Yumm) but also had soup and a delicious bacon and tomato salad for lunch. I had fruit and yoghurt. So I am raring to go. Ready to play Captain of the washing basket again. Ahoy there me hearties ;)

Thank you all for your kind messages yesterday - both for this silly cold and for my progress. It means a lot to receive that support. Thanks.

Posted by Margaret at 6:45:00 am | Permalink | Comments

This week I have lost 1.3kgs bringing my total loss to 12.3kgs. Whooo Hoooooo. Cough cough. Sneeze.

Whilst not looking for sympathy, I am suffering the tail end of a cold and will be staying home to get some rest. Luckily I am in a position to still drop the boys off at child care so that I know I will get some uninterrupted sleep (bliss). Then I will bounce back to my normal chatty self to ponder this road I am on, and all the wonderful sights I see as I take a step closer to 68kg each week.

This last week has been really good for me. I have ramped up the exercise, I have mixed it up in the food department, lots of chilli does wonders for the metabolism, and it sure helps with the water consumption ;) I can comfortably get into the few size 16 clothes that I have and have unloaded a heap of size 18 and above clothes to charity. All in all I am feeling pretty good. Cough cough wheeze. Oh yeah. Except for that :)

Posted by Margaret at 6:58:00 am | Permalink | Comments

*Can't believe I titled my post that*

The weekends for me are now becoming an opportunity to experiment with cooking. During the week it is so busy by the time we get home with the boys and a mad house couple of hours before they are in bed, that we stick to our one serve of a lean, grilled protein (fish, chicken, lamb, steak - whatever) and zero point veges or salad. This works really well because it is so quick to cook that I don't get a chance to snack before I eat. But I have a little more time on the weekend in that I can cook when the boys have a nap and the food is then ready when we want to eat.

So, I had bought a copy of Family Circle during the week (still makes me laugh that I bought it) and it had the most delicous sounding recipe in it. "Slow-simmered lamb shanks". So I decided to make it for dinner today. Which I did. And we ate. At 4.30pm. Because that is when it was finished and the house smelt so delicious we decided that that was the time to have our dinner. So in case I get hungry later, and as I have absolutely no points left to eat for the day, I have made a zero point soup "chunky corn soup". But I am not hungry and it will probably have to wait until dinner tomorrow. Because I am cooking "burmese chicken" for lunch. It takes 8 hours to cook. So after I post this (which I am pretending is my Sunday Post, even though it is still Saturday in Sydney - it's almost Sunday in N.Z. - does that count??) I am going to start cooking lunch for tomorrow.

LOL.

And since dinner was divine, I thought I would share the recipe.

slow-simmered lamb shanks

Serves 4-6
Pts will depend on the size of the shank

Points Ingredients
0.5 plain flour seasoned with salt and cracked black pepper for dusting
3.5 per 100gms 4-6 French trimmed lamb shanks (I just got the normal ones)
2.0 1 tablespoon olive oil
0.0 375ml (1.5 cup) chicken stock
0.0 400g can chopped tomatoes
1.0 250ml (1 cup) white wine
0.0 6 sprigs thyme
0.0 1 onion, sliced
0.0 2 cloves garlic, crushed
0.0 2 tablespoons flat-leaf parsley, chopped

1. Dust the shanks with the seasoned flour and brush off any excess
2. Using half the olive oil brown the shanks over medium-high heat in batches and set aside.
3. Combine stock, tomatoes, wine and thyme in a jug. Heat remaining oil in the pan. Cook the onion and garlic for 4 minutes or until just soft. Return the shanks to the pan and add the liquid mixture. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and cook the shanks for 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Remove the lid and cook, uncovered for 30 minutes more.
4. Stir through the parsley. Season with extra salt and cracked pepper if desired.
5. Serve with whatever you like. We did couscous (1/2 cup dry served 2 people 2.5 pts each)

Due to the size of the shanks I bought, I had to count my entire meal as 13 points. I question the value of the shank as it did not seem to have that much meat on it. But 3.5 hours later and I still can't eat a thing - maybe it was right.

I so wish I had taken a photo of it ;)

Posted by Margaret at 1:00:00 am | Permalink | Comments

That'll learn me to wear shoes for a whole day that I haven't worn in 10 or so years. And then go for a walk in them. Ouch. But what price is pain to pay for the opportunity of looking smashing ;)

Posted by Margaret at 7:11:00 am | Permalink | Comments

The terms 'comfort zone' and 'think outside the square', whilst annoying as heck are terms that I deal with every day at work. As a 'solution provider' (another really fantastic term) I often have to think at a different level to achieve a result that is better, faster, and more resource efficient than the existing method. This often means thinking and working outside areas that I would term my comfort zone. This doesn't phase me, as it is work. Work is only a part of who I am.

However, when we talk about comfort zones on a personal level it is an entirely different matter. 12 weeks ago my comfort zone was wearing to work - maternity pants and the biggest shirt of DH's that I could find in the wardrobe. This changed and now my comfort zone is wearing a very smart, and now loose fitting size 18 work uniform. Every day. I have lots of it. However, Friday is mufti day. That means casual day. As we are not customer facing we are really allowed to wear anything we want as long as it is clean and decent. For the past 12 weeks I have worn my uniform on Friday. Today I have not. Today I am so far out of my current comfort zone that my eloquent speech ability is frozen in my throat. Today the attention I have drawn to myself has elicited so many compliments that it has taken much longer than usual to write this post. No - I am not wearing sequined tights. Just jeans. My sized 36 mens diesel jeans. And a long sleeved black, cross over sweater. Fitted. With a little white singlet underneath. It hides nothing. It looks good. But people are noticing. That does scare me a little. (Liar - it scares me a lot) But I knew it would and I did it anyway. But so far people have only seen me sitting or standing behind my desk. I wonder what they will say when they see I have my Worn Only Once Since Bought in London 1991 Bright, Red, Suede, Dr Martins Boots on? LOL. I think it may just render them speechless :) Happy Red Nose Day.

Edit to post. Have just noticed that I am perfectly co-ordinated with my diet coke can - very stylish.

Posted by Margaret at 8:20:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I love the internet. I use it for almost anything. Research, playing, games for the children, loads of birthday activity stuff, and all my banking. Well almost all my banking. Every now and then I receive cheques. For whatever reason. And try as I might, I cannot get the piece of paper to go into the pc. So I have to go to a bank. And I forget. For months. So I finally decided enough was enough and I would use my lunch time to go to the bank, line up for ages, and deposit the cheques. For this I would forgo my exercise. Then my darling DH rang and asked what exercise I was doing for my lunch and when I told him he said he would walk to my office, pick up the cheques, bank them himself on the way back, and I can go and do my exercise. And he did. And I did - for an hour to make it really worth the effort DH went to. I love him.

Posted by Margaret at 8:24:00 am | Permalink | Comments

On Tuesdays at the gym I go to a 40 min abs & circuit class. It is fantastic. It has 10 stations (dips, biceps, star jumps, lat raises, boxing, step, skipping, push ups, lunges & walking) which work all of the different bits and pieces that need to be worked. I am in love with the guy who runs it. He is the most kind, funny, gentle, class teacher I have ever encountered. When I go to a class I work really hard. I can't not. I sweat. I make a lot of noise. As you can see - all very attractive! He encourages me to work harder, but ensures that I take it easy when he can see I am about to pass out. He lets me know how to do alternate crunch styles so I can protect my back further. He never makes me feel like I am not worthy of his class. And I thank him for that. On Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays the classes are run by the teacher from Hell. She is fit. She is hot. She has heaps of energy. She pushes her classes hard to the point where I normally have to vomit. But - she belittles people who cannot keep up. She intimidates those who only want to put 2 rises under the step (me) and puts them up to 3 or 4. She scowls and talks under her breath as she removes the 3kg weights I have put by my stations, and replaces them with 5kg ones. I don't like her very much. And that makes me not go to her classes. But on the bright side, I have seen a lot more of Sydney as I pound the pavement every lunch time. A group of us are going to petition the gym to get another class on Thursday run by the guy who does Tuesday. It's funny. These people are now my lunch crowd. And not a Big Mac amongst us ;)

Posted by Margaret at 8:06:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I love reading blogs. I love to see how people are getting on, and how each of us have different motivations and tricks to keep us excited and raring to get to each new stage. A lot of people set themselves mini goals with mini rewards attached. And this seems to work brilliantly by all accounts. I wonder why I don't. I have thought about this a lot, on and off, and was never really able to work it out. I even sat down to write some goals, but couldn't. I only have one goal. That is to maintain my weight of 68kgs (within 2 kgs up or down). I have dated milestones like when I hit my first 5kgs. When 10% of my sw was gone. When I reached 30% weight gone, and when I hit 10kgs gone. But these are not goals for me. Merely signs along the path that I have passed.

I also wondered why I don't join in the great challenges that are going around. I think the 5km is great, and Kates 10kgs in 18wks sounds really achieveable. But I didn't join. And I won't. You see, I am really competitive. I can't even play Monopoly with some people because I value their friendship too much. I am mostly competitive with myself. I am so afraid that if I join a challenge and don't succeed that it will trigger some sort of crazed rebellious streak in me. And I know I have one. Perhaps then, I should do it, just to see what happens. And learn to handle myself even if I don't achieve. But then again, do I need to? I am very focussed on the task at hand and currently have no problem in the motivation department. Would rewards help to liven things up for me? I have received plenty of rewards in the past 11 weeks. My rewards are personal little things that I can now do whereas 11 weeks ago I could not.

* I can walk for 3 hours without having to sit down to have a rest.
* I can jog a distance of 3 trees. (one of my personal favourites LOL)
* I can pick up both boys - at the same time.
* I can walk through a food court and not stop and get something to eat.
* I can grocery shop without adding in any chocolate from the check out stands. (Yaaa me)
* I can wear my bathers without hating myself.
* I can climb a step ladder.
* I can smile on a bad day and know that I have not let myself down.
* I can accept that I am who I am.
* I am starting to admire myself for the person that I am, rather than for the things that I do.

So did I answer any of my own questions? I think so. I'll just keep doing what I am doing and continue admiring all of us for our abilities, our failings, our strengths, and our tenacity. And if I collect a few more rewards along the way, all the better for me :)

Posted by Margaret at 8:10:00 am | Permalink | Comments

With a loss of 700gms this week I have now lost exactly 11kgs in 11 weeks. It may be the last time I celebrate such a good average, but celebrate I will. Whoooo Hooooooo. Yaaaaaaaaa.

Over the weekend I spent lots of time in my study playing with Blogger templates and learning how to change hexidecimal colour codes so that I can change the look of my blog. I have been itching to change it for a couple of weeks now. So this morning, sitting on the bus staring out of the window, I started to ask myself why. And I think I worked it out. With anything that I have stuck to for a period of time I tend to find myself getting, not bored, but edgy and needing a change. (I change the furniture layout at home - often!) I am now beginning week 12 of ww and whilst I think this is a brilliant effort I am quite some way to go before I reach my goal. And the edgy beast is starting to rear its head. However, I am not prepared to sabotage my newly created food and exercise habits because I am edgy. I have mixed up my exercise to include loads of walking with some challenging classes at the gym. I do so much incidental exercise, such as my 20 min walk to Central to catch up a bus when there is a bus stop a 1 min walk down the lane in front of my building. I have mixed up my food with the addition of lots of low point, spicy, filling soups and dishes. But I am still a bit edgy. So of course, the one thing I can change in this journey, is my blog. It won't effect my weight loss. It won't change the time I spend exericising, but it will freshen me up as I get to see something different on the screen.

I had to laugh when I saw Mary's new layout - because, of course, that is the one I was toying with. LOL. She has such great taste. So it may take me a couple of days but I will soon present a new face to the blog world. Maybe even a skinnier one ;)

Edit to post. Have played. Have changed. Think chocolate, raspberries, strawberries. Bit of cream!

Posted by Margaret at 8:45:00 am | Permalink | Comments

What a glorious cold day in Sydney today. Missed swimming because we all have the sniffles and coughs. Went for a long bracing walk at Balmoral Beach. Been to a first birthday party (Happy Birthday Olivia) and felt I have done pretty well points wise. (tracker below is for yesterday as normal). I have 7 left for the day so should even be able to sneak in a glass of wine before bed. Oh yeah. Life is good.

Posted by Margaret at 4:21:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

My body is a temple
Oh how I worship thee
I watch each morsel of food and drink
I put inside of me

I count my points, I exercise
I even try to jog
I clear my mind, I concentrate
And put it all in my blog

Food is no longer foe
I consider it a friend
And before I scare you all
This poem is at an end.

LOL. Some people photograph food - I make up silly verses (thankfully not very often). :D

Posted by Margaret at 7:41:00 am | Permalink | Comments

In the past when things were going well for me in one part of my life, I usually expect something in another area to go to pot. That way I could 'justify' stopping the good thing to fix the bad thing. Not this time. I have spent a lot of my spare time lately encouraging my good habits. I spend time learning about healthy eating, about exercise, and I spend time reading blogs. I am not prepared to give that up. However I have other areas of my life too. My family. No issues there. My work. I could spend a little more time concentrating and a little less time wondering what everyone is up to, but I am starting to balance this a little better. My house. There is the problem. I can honestly say that the current housework has kept up pretty well (other than last weekends clean washing is still not folded and put away LOL) but the catch up stuff is still, well, waiting to be caught up.

In the almost 9 years that I have been married, we have moved house 7 times. 7 times!!! And last year we got all the stuff that was still in storage in SA and moved that to NSW as well. DH has changed jobs 4 times, been out of work 2 times, and is now his own boss contracting his time. We also had 2 children, 3 interstate weddings, and 1 funeral. It's been a busy busy time. So I could be forgiven for not quite getting around to unpacking all the boxes...right? I could be applauded for at least having the tax done up to 1996...right? I actually have nothing to worry about...right? Mmmmmm Maybe not.

The unpacking of the boxes, sorting of all the paperwork, discarding of everything useless, the colating of every piece of paper necessary to do the tax, the making of photo albums for photos taken from 1991 onwards, these have been on my To Do List for a very long time. Every now and then I take a stab at it. But I felt it was boring, so my efforts were half-hearted and I did something else instead (ate probably!) Now, I know I have to do this task. But I also know that there is no excuse for chucking away all my good eating & exercise habits just to get in some extra time to do the boxes. I can do both. I can use my newly learned skills of planning and accountability to take stock of the situation and just get on with it. Like my one tree strategy with running, I should just take a one box strategy with unpacking. Don't give myself a deadline, don't worry about anything else on the pile. Just take one box. Empty it and move on to the next one. That just might work. Wonder what I might find - the possibilities are endless ;)

Posted by Margaret at 8:20:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I am back from the walk and I feel great. On the way a guy in front of me dropped some paper so I ducked down to pick it up, completely forgetting about the weight on my back, and almost toppled straight over. How funny. I also called into the city ww meeting with a girl from work who walked with me (thanks KD) and bought some Choc Crisp - orange bars, some All Day Breakfast bars and the Family Cookbook. So happy. Can't wait till afternoon tea to try one of the crisp bars.

Also tidied up the blog a little. Hope Emily doesn't mind that I have taken one of her brilliant features, the monthly progress. When I put the figures in it just brought home to me that I am doing alright. That weight comes off over a period of time and day to day fluctuations, or weeks where the loss is a little lower pale compared to the overall loss. Though I still want the weekly numbers to go down, down, down....

Posted by Margaret at 12:52:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Something happened yesterday that has not happened to me in my entire 10 weeks of this ww journey. I was hungry. All day. I ate. I kept eating. I had my breakfast. I ate an apple. A banana. Then a yoghurt. A fruit bar. Drank almost 3 litres of water. About the same of d.coke (oops). I had a huge lunch of salad with 2 steamed dim sims cut up and put through it (delicious if you want something a little different in a salad). I had a quarter of a chicken. I had a huge plate of vegetables. I had 2 boiled eggs. In the end I had to go to bed because I was afraid that I would just keep eating. I woke up hungry - and my stomach grumbled the whole way through my shower and in to work.

This is such a weird feeling. I am going to have to be vigiliant today in my planning so that I don't go over points, and I am hoping that this hungry feeling goes away. Perhaps my body is testing my brain. Perhaps today is the day where I find out if I can make this a lifestyle change. Perhaps this is the day that my brain tells my body to get back in line.

Today I am going for a walk at lunch time. I will have a backpack on and 10kgs of rice. I am delivering my 'weight' and it is a 30 minute walk away. I am going to enjoy the walk back.

Posted by Margaret at 8:13:00 am | Permalink | Comments

On a recent post Sue wrote that she was going to give her weight away. I thought this was a brilliant idea and asked if she minded if I copied. To which she replied go ahead - the more the merrier. So I rang around to find out how I could donate 10kg worth of food. There are heaps of organisations around but I didn't know any near by and I wanted to make sure that I gave them something they could use. Someone in my office suggested Reverend Bill Crew's Exodus Foundation which delivers food parcels to homeless and abandoned youth and other people in need.

It's only something small, and reminds me that there are people less fortunate than I am, and if I can help in 10kg increments then so be it. Now, onwards to losing the next 10kgs so I can do it all over again.

Thank you Sue for a fantastic idea.

Posted by Margaret at 6:21:00 am | Permalink | Comments

*insert silly Popeye laugh here*

I had a lovely, bizzare, frustrating, fantastic day yesterday. We walked for hours and DH even tried to teach DS1 (who is 3.5) to play chess with the giant chess pieces in Hyde Park. Whilst they were playing I took the pram and walked around a bit and when I was sure no-one (important) could see me, I ran my two trees. LOL. Very sneaky. I looked great when I left the house yesterday. Wearing my newly acquired size 36 mens Diesel jeans (thanks DH *kiss*) and a white t-shirt, sneakers, and hair tied back I felt young, fit, healthy, and really really happy. Then I went shopping. I was looking for some work out gear. Nothing fancy. But the old maternity pants and sized 20 trackpants were falling off everytime I jumped up so I needed an upgrade. The sales were on in the city so I thought for sure I would find something in the size I needed without having to pay a fortune - as I don't plan on needing this size for very long. No such luck. Everything that fit really well was going to cost me close to $100.00 a piece and everything that was $30 or less gave me a really bad case of camel toe (if you don't know - I am not going to explain!) As we had parked at the Opera house we had passed a really cool shop called "Between the flags" They had the best workout gear in the window AND were having a huge sale. They weren't open when we began (well who would be at 7.30 on a Public Holiday??) so we called in on the way back. After perusing the items in store I quickly worked out that there was little or no chance of finding anything to fit me. Rather than waste my time looking I sought out the sales-girl and asked her what was the largest size they carried. To which she replied 14. We left. I was feeling fat, unattractive, and really really unhappy. Then I thought, It's my choice how I feel, so I changed my thoughts from "bloody stupid shop - who would buy there anyway" to "great - now I know where to buy my gear from when I am a size 14" (they did have really cool stuff)...

So we went home but as the DS's both fell asleep I got DH to drive on to Chatswood where I ducked into Target and got pants, a jacket, & 3 t-shirts all in size 16 (whooo hooo), so I am set for gym tomorrow, and everyday after that until they fall off me too ;)

I came home feeling young, fit, healthy, and really really happy.

Posted by Margaret at 8:15:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Todays weigh in has shown a loss of 400gm which has left me with two different feelings (one outweighing the other a hundred times). The first is disappointment. It is the first time I have lost less than 1kg in a week - in a week where there hasn't been a gain that is. But it is only a small disappointment. I am almost over it already (almost ;)) The second is excitement because today I have past the 10kg mark. Whooooo Hooooooo. 10kg of unattractive, blubbery, wasteful fat gone. Probably more if I have built any muscle along the way.

It is a public holiday in Sydney today. DH is going into work anyway and taking DS1 with him. I am going with them but DS2 and I will be going on a huge walk around Sydney before the shops open. I noticed in the past week the word "none" appearing alongside my exercise tracking more often than in the past few weeks. This could be the difference in my weight loss this week. Exercise has to be a constant part of my day otherwise bad habits are going to start filling in that time. So if you are in Sydney this morning and you see a crazed looking woman pushing a pram at a speed that is probably going to be a bookable offence, that's me. Wave, but don't try to stop me because I may just run you down. ;)

BTW: I HAVE LOST 10kgs. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa me.

Points FTD: 19

Posted by Margaret at 7:05:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I am a huge fan of tickers. When I started this blog I had a ticker. I could only see it on my work PC not my home so I took it off. But I want one. I want one bad. So after spending countless hours scouring as many sites as I could find, and not wanting to 'copy' any that I know are on other blogs I have come up with this one. I am not sure that it screams 'me' but it does say something. It says that I have come a heck of a way into my journey. It says yaaaaa to me that I only have a portion of my total weight loss to go. It says - you are a dag and need to get a hobby ;)

Posted by Margaret at 7:04:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Why is this ww journey for me more successful than any I have been on before? Why am I getting good results now when efforts previously have been a very mixed affair? What am I doing differently? My first real effort to lose weight was in September 1995. I had been proposed to, we had worked out that the wedding would be at the end of the following year and I didn't want to look like a pavlova. So I joined ww with my Mum and we went to meetings and thought we followed the program. But we must not have had our head in the right space because after every meeting we would go and have the biggest pig out and 'justify' it by saying we had all week to burn it off. Everytime I would overeat, or eat a 'bad' food I would feel guilty and then emotions took over and I would just stuff the whole week up. I did lose some weight, did not get to my goal, made an OK looking bride, and starting putting weight on the day after. What a disaster.

This time I am listening to the rules. I understand and accept the choices only I can make. There is no bad food. There is only food that is high in points and low in points. I can have a high point food and write it down. It isn't bad. It does not make me feel guilty if I choose to have 3 bourbons (half measures), some ice cream (ww choc) and a piece of chocolate (fun size milky way). I just write it down. I refuse to go over my points for the week so I make it harder on myself for the other days if I do eat too much on a single day but I do not feel guilty. I refuse to give that much power to my food. It is simple but this does not mean easy. Every day I still make decisions about what I do or do not eat. I choose to eat food that are lower in points because then I can have more food. I love food. I love vegetables, I love salad, I love chocolate. I fancy alcohol every now and again, but can do without if it means I have to eat less. By not labelling food as good or bad ww removes so much of the emotional ties we place on food. By understanding this now I have been able to balance so much more, and eat so much more than I ever imagined. Which is good. Because I love food :)

Posted by Margaret at 8:20:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Before I began my ww journey the only time the word 'runner' would have passed my lips was to say that I am not a runner, or Look at that runner - he/she is crazy.. Now thanks in part to A Girl Running, Jay Kay, and the many people taking up the 5K challenge, I am actually starting to think about running, about runners, and more specifically about runners legs. It is AGR's fault. She was the one that made me wonder if runners legs are all that great. Surely they can't be that different to the huddled masses? So yesterday I decided to check it out for myself. As it was a beautiful 22 degree sunny winters day I passed over the gym in favour of hoofing it around Hyde Park. To exercise of course, but also to gather research material.

There were a miriad of people out, taking in the sunshine, and this included runners. All sorts of shapes and sizes, and outfits. All of the blokes wore shorts (some so short I had to look away for fear of fainting) and this gave me great opportunity to study their legs. OK. Not bad (except for the really hirsute man who also wore aforementioned short shorts - ewwwww). I can see that the calves of the male runner tend to be sleek and muscular, nice knees, great quads, hmmmm overall a good result. The women on the other hand gave me no great research material as they all wore long pants. Trackies, tights, or yoga pants. Not good for research. After I had reached the fountain at the northern end of the park - my half way mark - I rounded it to the sounds of the bells of St Mary's Cathedral whilst a military band tuned their instruments ready for a concert. It was fantastic - but not why I was there. Back to my research. On the walk back to the memorial (25 steps up, 25 steps down) I passed a runner. The runner. She was gorgeous. Long straight blonde hair tied back. Little tank top (mmm bra?). Yoga pants. Very thin. *sigh* If that is what I could look like if I ran I am there... So, at the next tree I thought OK this is it - run. So I did. For the total distance of 1 tree. Approximately 5 steps. o.m.g. My hat goes off to you runners. I think it may be some time before I get runners legs but I'll take it one tree at a time..

Posted by Margaret at 7:58:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I am a very lucky little chickadee in that I work flex time. I can work up some hours and if I have enough, and ask really nicely, I can have a day off. I had such a day yesterday. The first one since 1st April. What a beautiful day. I took DH to the Chiro where he is still having work done to rectify some damage done to his jaw when he hit his head on the steering wheel in very little mentioned car incident (silly bugger) and then we had a lovely morning at home. I dropped him off to play golf with a mate after lunch and then spent the afternoon putting disaster zone home back into order. It was during the lunch that I felt I was really starting to learn the lessons taught at ww in relation to eating out.

We were at a little road side eatery in North Sydney. Sitting in the dappled shade of a gorgeous tree and contemplating the menu. There was so much to choose from but nothing that could be ordered without alteration. Mmmmm. Me and alteration of a menu don't normally go hand in hand. Why? I am scared of waiting staff. I know they have a tough job (tried it once - didn't work) but I have seen what they turn into when you want to change something. So with a deep breath I gave our order. For DH - grilled fish with salad, no fries no dressing. And for moi - Grilled chicken burger on turkish, no cheese, half the mayo. There. Done. Still in one piece. When we were waiting for our food I was feeling pretty good sucking down a d.coke and looking forward to a nice safe lunch. Then the food arrived. Oops. Mine came with fries. A big glorious pile of freshly cooked golden crispy fries. Was I tempted. Abso-bloody-lutely. Did I have one. Nope. At 10.30 in the evening as I am in bed trying to fall asleep, was I still thinking about how good I am. Yep.

LOL but I'm human :)

Posted by Margaret at 8:23:00 am | Permalink | Comments

When replacing any bad habit (mine - food) it is common and fairly normal that the time it used to take to do the bad habit is replaced with something else. Mine has been tracking everything that goes into my mouth, making sure I exercise, and blogging. Now two of these things are unquestionably healthy but I was starting to question whether I am addicted to blogging and whether this is a healthy thing. To aid in the search for my answer I went to the source of all information: google. I asked it the question "is it possible to be addicted to blogging". There were so many responses I didn't know where to start. But start I did. I found two very interesting perspectives on this question. Michele and Looseleafs. Both validate that it is very real as is blogging fatigue. But is it bad? Is it bad for me?

NO.

I may be a little addicted to blogging. I may take delight in reading about the successes and challenges of people who are on a similar journey to mine. I may be temporarily saddened when a favourite of mine hasn't written anything for a few days. I like to burst out laughing at my PC, whether at home or at work, and feel the pressures of the day explode around me. I like to feel empathy for someone who is doing it tough - but getting on with it anyway. I like to silently (and not so silently) applaud these efforts that are happening all around me, in my city, my state, my country & my world. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel less alone as I travel down this path.

Would I still be losing weight if I was not blogging? Hard question. As I am of a cyber age I would have turned to the internet for help, ideas, information anyway, and that is what I did when I found other bloggers which in turn encouraged me to blog instead of keeping a manual journal. The blog is not losing the weight for me, I am doing that, but the blog and the giving and receiving of support help me to keep focussed - and that's what I need to do.

Would I now have difficulty if I could not blog? I would have to say yes initially because it has become part of my day. It kick starts my accountability to myself by stating what transpired the day before and allows me to free myself of the little frustrations that may have once turned me to food for comfort.

Am I going to continue blogging? Hell yes!

Posted by Margaret at 6:29:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I understand that this journey is not always going to be about the scales (though I do love that part at the moment) but also about the measurements. So I did my beginning of the month measurements and was blown away by the results. Until I realised that the fact I was wearing "suck it in" tights might have had something to do with the phenomenal results. So I took them off. And measured again. OK. The bust didn't change from my earlier measurements. Neither did my neck, upperarm or waist. But the others did. *sigh* Knew it was too good to be true. However, all the measurements were still a lot less than when I began my journey, and less than last month, so overall a good result.

Note to self: From now on always measure over "suck it in" tights. In fact, never take off tights again ;)

Posted by Margaret at 8:18:00 am | Permalink | Comments

This morning I was thinking about the TV show "The Biggest Loser". In particular an episode of that show where they made the contestants strap on the weight they had lost and run around a track. It just about knocked some of them over. Yesterday I went for a walk along Balmoral Beach with my family and I put DS2 in a carrier on my belly. He weighs 9.55kgs. I have now lost 9.9kgs. I was in fact walking around as a person who had lost no weight. And it was hard. At the end I was quite out of breath. When I took him off and put him back in the car I was very very relieved. If that isn't a motivation for myself to never put on that parcel of weight again - I don't know what is. My next goal then is to replace the weight of DS1. He currently weighs 16kgs. And my ultimate goal loss is actually both of them (at their current weights) gone - well their weight worth anyway. How funny.

So to summarise my current status.
This week I lost 1.4 kgs
I have now lost a total of 9.9 kgs
I have lost 10% of my starting weight
I have covered 30% of my journey
I feel fantastic :-D

Posted by Margaret at 8:12:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Yesterday was great. I had forgotton how much fun it is to be in just a group of women and talk talk talk. The lingerie range was fantastic. It is called intimo and I splurged and bought myself a great sports bra!.. Well I do need one with all the extra gyming I am doing. Oh, and I bought something frivolous. In leopard. Very out of my comfort zone, but oh so nice on. Not planning on wearing it long. ;)

Posted by Margaret at 6:39:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Today I am going to do something I have not done before. I am going to an 'undie' party. Or lingerie if you prefer. It promises to be an afternoon full of fun, laughter, silly women choosing inappropriate under garments - and of course - champagne. I can't wait. I am bringing some rice crackers and cut up carrots to add to the snack trays so that I can be sure to keep my points to a minimum. I know there will be cheese (yumm) and pate (oh yumm) but I am going to enjoy myself without these props.. And I am not going to think about the fact that there will be two men, 2 boys aged 3 and 2 babies at 10 months each in my house turning it into a toy battleground whilst I am gone. I will deal with that when I get back.

Posted by Margaret at 6:57:00 am | Permalink | Comments

The last 8 weeks of my life have wrought many changes on me, and not all on my body. Along with the physical changes which I can see and feel and revel in, there are other more subtle changes which I am also experiencing. These have to do with the way I feel, react, behave and think. Whilst I have always been an outwardly postive person all my life this has sometimes been a cover for a very insecure person. Insecure about my looks. Insecure about myself. As a young girl I was often the tallest person in my class and even in my whole school year. I was 175cm (5ft 9) from about age 13. This makes it very easy to become the target of teasing at school. And teased I was. As we moved around a lot it was easy just to let go of old friends and go to a new school hopefull of less teasing. This never happened, but I got a good thick skin from it. As I got older I realised that a lot of my insecure feelings about my looks were unfounded. I was never a beauty queen (LOL just thinking about that possibility) but I was never a really bad looking kid either. But those insecurities lie deep and it takes a lot to break those thoughts.

At the moment I have accepted that I am who I am. I have accepted where I am. This has then allowed me to know where I need to go. For so long I have wished I would wake up thin, be thin, look like everyone does on TV and then each morning, when I did not look like that, I would get depressed and go and eat. (gee that was a really good way to get where I needed - not!!). But acceptance had to come first. And now it has. And now I can and have made changes. And now I am changing. For the better. And it shows. I am happier. I have more fun. I am experiencing more from what life has to offer instead of hiding in a cupboard with a packet of tim tams... Mmmm tim tams......

So with my better healthier body, I am getting a better healthier mind. And no tim tam in this world can beat that feeling...

Posted by Margaret at 8:13:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I received so much great advice and commentary yesterday re the SP issue so have taken the following things on board:
- I will track the points honestly but won't be too worried about them
- I will try to make non SP decisions but I won't be too strict (at the moment)
- I was probably eating 50+ sugar points in a week before my journey so cutting it back to the amount I am eating now is still a huge improvement
So thank you for all your honest feedback.



Update on my dad. Yesterday the surgeon gave him the all clear. The tests show all the cancer was removed, there is no need for chemo, and the op in a couple of months time to put some things back together should be very straightforward. So very very relieved. Thank you for all your thoughts, prayers and best wishes. From the bottom of my heart.

Posted by Margaret at 8:10:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Sugar Points. How can 2 little words have such an effect on my food. On my eating habits. On my life. (a little dramatic - I know) Up till now I thought I was doing fine in the SP (can't even bring myself to use the words anymore) department. I drink in moderation and had even been having my Jim Beam in half measures with d.coke so that they are only worth 0.5 points each. So I am merrily tracking away, writing down all I eat and I happened to have a discussion with a ww-friend who innocently said to me "Don't the ww cookies count as sp's?" I say "No... I don't think so... They wouldn't have sugar listed in the first 3 ingredients would they... Actually I don't know - never looked". So I looked. And I gasped. And now have to count them as sugar points. Damn. Damn. And damn again. Wish I had never looked. So now I have to rethink my general core eating plan as I was happily eating 4 - 6 cookies a day, getting my sweet tooth fix, and thinking I was being an angel. Not true. But now I know. Now I have the ability to change that little thing in my journey that may help me even more. This weeks total will be over as I consumed 10 on the first day (Freddo Frogs got me) but I will now cut back and replace the bulk of the afternoon cookies with something else - yoghurt perhaps, or fruit, or I have to make something that doesn't count as sugar points. What a challenge ;)

Posted by Margaret at 8:15:00 am | Permalink | Comments