My Journey

Transposed from manual journal written during holiday

The plan of only taking 2.5 hours to drive liesurely to our holiday destination was thrown to the wind when the driver & navigator of our journey took the wrong road. After 3.5 hours we pulled into a service station and I got out to ask directions because someone else wouldn't. Men!

What is it about actually admitting you may have taken the wrong way, and need some assistance to find the right way, that is so hard? Actually that's a bit like my journey. Admitting I was heading in the wrong direction weight wise and putting my hand out for assistance that first time was incredibly hard. What if I didn't get the help I needed? What if I was rebuffed or rejected? The fear of all these things had stopped me, perhaps subconsciously, for asking for the help I needed. I know now that these fears can be overcome by pushing through them - and arming yourself with the right tools / map. So the solution for my wayward navigator? Better maps and the patience to support him so he doesn't have to be afraid to ask for direction.

Posted by Margaret at 12:00:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Please!!!

I have discovered a new addiction. Shopping. In the sales. Oh no - what was I thinking. My little trip into the city to purchase one bra turned into a bit of a shopping spree.

I bought a bra. A 5 way adjustable thingy. Then realised they had a sale on. Buy one thing pay 100%. Buy two things get 20% discount. Buy three things take 30% off the lot. So I bought three things. Of course :)

Then I stopped off in a bag shop and walked out with a little sparkly clutch kind of bag. I am very vague with bags and don't own any nice ones because for the last almost four years I have just put my stuff in the nappy bag. But now I have this one for the wedding and any other fancy events I may go to now.

Then I decided to look in the Tie Rack. 2 kerchiefs for the boys and 1 silk wrap for me later I was out of that shop.

You would think that would be enough. That it would satiate my appetite for new things. But like one bite of chocolate it only fueled the desire to have more. So I decided to leave work early today and go shopping. Again. I had been eyeing off some shoes at Broadway and needed to buy some casual brown shoes to go with all my new clothes. I looked at lots of them and after discounting all the new sparkly sandals on stiletto heels (what the!) I settled for a nice pair of Diana Ferrari's. With matching bag. D'oh.

So tonight I am trying to nurse my credit card back to health whilst I pack (yet again) for our weekend away to Ulladulla. It is the weekend of the wedding. It is a long weekend in Sydney and we will be returning on Monday afternoon. So that means I will be weighing in on Tuesday. Part of me is hopeful, like on "The Biggest Loser 2" that the extra 24 hours will mean extra weight loss, but my pattern has never been like that. Monday is generally always my lowest day. Then Tuesday shoots up and the rest of the week steadily works its way down again. Strange. I had considered taking the scales with me but the drive down will only serve to knock out the calibration so I won't. I will just take Tuesday as it comes.

On that note I am going to go and try on my shoes again and start packing. I hope everyone has a wonderful long weekend planned. See you all on Monday when I hope to have photo's of me all frocked up. LOL. I almost typed that wrong ;)


Points FTD: 20
Points Left FTW: 60
Sugar Points: 0
Checklist: 5/5
DAJS Challenge: Done
Other Exercise: Walk to Central
TIAGF: 5 way bra thingy's

Posted by Margaret at 8:05:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

When talking about, or showing, my new dresses a lot of my friends have commented to me that they have never seen me in a dress. And other than my uniform, have never seen me in a skirt. I started thinking about why I never did. I like skirts. I like dresses. But it is true. The last dress I wore was my wedding dress. Why?

When you wear a dress or skirt there is no fabric in between your legs to stop your thighs rubbing. I remember on days wearing a work skirt, where I had chosen not to wear stockings because it was too hot. By the end of the day the rubbing would have caused huge chaffing that at times took skin off. That is extremely painful and bloody embarrassing. From that point I wore trousers or jeans. For 7 years.

Buying these two dresses heralds a new era for me. One where I have accepted that my body has changed and that with that I have limitless opportunity to wear clothes that I have not been able to for a long time. Now of course I have a different problem. Bra's. Having strappy and halterneck clothes means I can't keep wearing the massive hold-all's so I will be getting out of my comfort zone at lunch tomorrow, and hopefully getting into some swish new undies. Oh what a problem :)


Points FTD: 20
Points Left FTW: 80
Sugar Points: 2
Checklist: 4/5
DAJS Challenge: Not Done
Other Exercise: Swimming
TIAGF: Banana's with chocolate mousse - yummmmm

Posted by Margaret at 10:20:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Please note colours are example only and may or may not change and image may get tidied up a bit - depends on how clever we (meaning Cath) can get ;D



After a fantastic discussion with Cath (thank you mate) the logo for Bloggers In Joggers is born. The Walk For A Cure is on Saturday 16th October around the country (specifically Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne, Perth & Sydney {Walks are also held in some regional locations. Please call your nearest JDRF office on 1300 363 126 for more information}) and hopefully will be a nice sunny day. Initially I was going to organise t-shirts to be printed but with everything going on have left my run too late. BUT. We have come up with a better option. Instead of printing t-shirts we will make available an emailable picture that you can print out on iron-on paper and put it on a t-shirt you already have or get for the day. If you don't have the ability to print I will do it for you and post it to you. To make sure you get it on time please send me an email before 11th October. Whoooo hooooo it's getting close now :)

As explained in my post a few weeks ago, I have registered and made my commitment to raise funds. You don't have to do this at all. If you just want to walk, just come and walk. If you want to donate money, then donate, but there is absolutely no obligation for you to do so as I know that people support their own charities. (That being said if you do want to donate you can do so securely at this site. In the search field, type in Bloggers and my details should come up. This will be live on Thurs or Fri. They will send you the receipt directly and the donation will go against my total. Easy Peasy.) I have to laugh. I put a jar of jelly babies out for a guessing competition at work and all the guesses are from people who are watching their weight. I think the little sugary babies of goodness are getting to all of us LOL.

So I will co-ordinate the Sydney meet up *shakes with nervous anticipation* but will happily email and post to any corner of Australia - that includes N.Z. *insert evil laugh*. If you want to be the co-ordinator for your city let me know and I will set up a link so that we get every possible chance of as many people meeting up.

Sometimes I wonder why I do things like this and then I remember - I am a NUTTER. But a nutter who likes to be involved in all facets of life. Whether it be organising morning teas at work (so I can make sure there is fruit) or helping out at the kindy 'garage' sale, or going over to a friends house to help paint the walls (I love cutting in) or just sitting back and supporting someone else who has taken the time to organise something. It is a long way from where I was and I just want to grab onto any opportunity to try something different, or meet someone new and just go with it. I like this new life. With all its problems and its sadness there are solutions and happiness. And I am happy to tackle it all :)

Points FTD: 20
Points Left FTW: 100
Sugar Points: 0
Checklist: 5/5
DAJS Challenge: Done
Other Exercise: Walk to Central
TIAGF: Banana's with chocolate mousse - yummmmm

Posted by Margaret at 4:54:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

This morning I almost fell off my scales in shock. I weighed in with a loss of 2.4kgs for the week taking my total to 19.6kgs. For the first time ever I weighed myself 3 times - just to make sure. It came back the same each time - 75.9kgs. And as I had not weighed myself all week it still averages out to less than once per day. LOL. Whoooo Hooooo. No wonder the clothes are fitting so nicely.

To ensure that there will not be a 'correction' this week I am going to keep following my 5 point plan which is:

1) Track everyday - try to stick to 20 points
2) Drink 2 litres of water a day - minimum
3) Keep to or less than 2 sugar pts a day
4) Do the DAJS challenge exercise - minimum
5) Keep smiling and have fun

Even though last week I did not award myself 5/5 each day, the fact that I had a checklist kept me closer than if I did not have one. And this week it will be more important to keep track of the food as I will be doing far less incidental exercise sitting behind my desk than I did last week chasing and getting chased by the boys all day. This extra exercise would have played a huge part in the loss this week. I was thinking about how many times I picked up DS2 (10kgs) and deposited him only a few metres away. Probably hundreds of times during the week. So then I was thinking I should bring in my 5kgs handweights (10kgs total) and every 20 minutes just stand up, pick them up and walk around my workstation and put them down again. Hmmmm. This could be worth thinking about. Now if I can just get it past all the H&S issues that will probably arise. Perhaps I can say they are extremely heavy paperweights ;)

The DAJS Challenge sent me the weekly email this morning modifying the exercise for this week. Instead of 30 seconds of fast walking/jogging it is up to 45 seconds and then 1 minute of normal walking. To make it easier on myself I walked for 1.15 then jogged for 0.45. That way I could watch the clock on the treadmill and start jogging at every 2 minute mark. I couldn't do it for the entire session but did at least 9 jogs. This is fun.

Points FTD: 20
Points Left FTW: 120
Sugar Points: 0
Checklist: 5/5
DAJS Challenge: Done
Other Exercise: Walk to Central
TIAGF: The gym

Posted by Margaret at 5:59:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

I thought the news of my arrival had spread outside my sphere when I returned to Sydney today. Alas, it was not the news of new sized 10 (gulp!) and 12 clothes that brought the media to the airport but the pending arrival of the victorious Sydney Swans. Their loss ;)

Which brings me back to the clothing point. I went shopping yesterday with my Mum. She wanted to buy me some clothes for my birthday. Who was I to argue? So off to the outlet centre and in to Table Eight. I picked up a couple of things and went into the change room. I talked to the staff there and explained I was after something for a day time wedding and off one of them went. She came back with am armful of beautiful clothes - all in a size 10 !!!!! I said I was flattered but that she had the wrong size. She said I looked like a 10. I said Whoooo Hooooo - in my head because saying it outloud would have been crazy. She took all but one top back as it only came in a 10. I tried it on for a laugh. It fits. I bought it. I also got a skirt and cardi for the wedding and a couple of little tank tops which look really great with jeans. I was stoked. The stuff could have looked like potato sacks for all I cared - they were 10 & 12's.. (and I also am very aware that their sizing is generous but the label says what the label says LOL)

Then it was off to Target where I bought a great dress (I know - I don't even believe I own a dress) with money my Mother In Law gave me for my birthday. I tried the 12 on but it was too tight across the bust and just looked ordinary but the 14 looks really nice. Then I bought another dress, a low backed halter-neck (who am I, where has M gone??) which was a 12. All the clothes were in browns, creams, and green. All fairly plain. Flatters my currently existing waist and disguises nicely my tummy and bottom. Thank you Trinny & Suzzanah :) One thing I did realise when shopping is that my arms are no where near as bad as I thought they were. I think the gym work is really pulling my bat-wings into shape. I can't wait to go tomorrow.

Sizing is a really funny thing in clothes and something that in the past I have really focused on. I remember as I was getting larger that I refused to wear anything that was a 16. Then it was 18. And so on. There was very little consideration of the clothes looking good, or fitting well. It was all about the size on the label. This little shopping trip has cemented that it is not all about the label. Sizing in womens fashion sucks as it is not consistent. Yes I am having a giggle that I now own something that the label says 10 in, but I also perfectly understand that the s14 dress I just bought looks equally as flattering on. And neither item makes me look big or small. Just smart. And pretty. And feminine. That is the way I am going to shop from now on. It may take longer as I don't know what the heck size to try on first but I will not let a label determine whether I buy something or not. Or have someone buy it for me as the case may be ;)

I have really missed blogging and the fact that I chose not to read blogs from another pc so that the history could not be accessed has raised some questions for myself. What am I hiding? I did not want anyone else reading a blog that I may read and comment on, and then perhaps finding their way back to me. I read a couple in the beginning, not realising I could not just clear all the history. I went and individually removed them but it was not as successful, or efficient. Even though I have travelled this far down my journey and some people in my family know that I keep a journal, I don't want them finding it. Not yet. I think I will need to get a lap top. This will need further pondering.

My exercising has been really good over the last week. Every day I did my 45 minutes of set walking (with butt releasing and clearing energy stretches - thanks Argy), plus all the incidental exercise that comes from having the boys full time and in holiday mode. I have never been tackled as much before in my life. It has been great fun but I think I need to go back to work to have a break :) My eating has been OK. Some great choices, some not so great choices, attempting to keep everything in moderation. The only thing that really slid right off the radar was my water drinking. So most days I got 4/5 of my checklist. Actually 3/5 as I would have had more than 2 sugar points a day.

I am just so happy to be home.

Posted by Margaret at 4:22:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

It is driving me a bit crazy not having easy access to a pc to post every day. My Dad has things set up 'just so' on his pc and doesn't really like other people playing. Including me. Who also likes her pc set 'just so'. But our just so's are soooooo different. :)

So doing fine. (Thanks for checking *mwah*) Still getting my scheduled walks in and really feeling it in my legs. Am tracking reasonably well food wise. If I haven't cooked or prepared the food, I am having quite small portions and making sure I drink heaps of water. I have not set foot on a scale so don't know what is happening weight wise but am finding I am having to pull the Nelly's up a few times during the day. And that is after I kind of shrunk them a little in the dryer. Oops. They do stretch though.

Had family photo's done yesterday and that was great, but a bit weird and sad at the same time. I will post one when I get back.

I hope everyone is having a great week. I am so looking forward to locking myself away in the study and doing a huge catch up when I get back on Sunday. See you all then :)

Posted by Margaret at 2:56:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

That would be my super hero name - if I was a super hero. Which I am not. But I am in training :)

I have just come back from my 45 minute Interval walk. Parents-in-law are sitting the boys and I drove up to Mums to borrow the dog and go along the beach. It is very bracing. And fantastic. Just to walk along and hear the beach roll in. I could not run for every 30 second interval (Note to self: don't eat steak dinner before you go for a walk) but did it until I got a stitch and then resumed when it went away. I am very proud of myself. My arms are killing me from carrying DS2 around today and now my legs match. I love it. And it was really difficult to walk remembering the butt clench rule. I lost a lot of money tonight but I did keep trying so I am sure I will get the hang of it soon.

Thanks for all your support. I won't be able to do a catch up tonight as I have to drive back home now but I am thinking of you all (clenching away) and will catch up in the next couple of days.

It is really nice seeing everyone in the same house. I am a very happy little camper tonight :)


Points FTD: 20
Points Left FTW: 97.5
Sugar Points: 2
Checklist: 5/5
DAJS Challenge: Done
Other Exercise: 1hr playing in playground, 2 x 15 min walk carrying DS2 (10.7kgs!)
TIAGF: Opportunities

Posted by Margaret at 10:02:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

After fluctuating all week between 77.5 and 79, the scales stopped this morning at 78.3 which is a loss of 100gms for the week.

It is still funny to me (exchange crazy, unbelieveable, annoying, frustrating for the word funny) that good habits take weeks and months to build up, but bad habits only take days to take hold. And then it is like you never learned the good habits at all. :\ I am not worried as I am extremely pumped today and have achieved everything I set out to achieve for the day. I will continue to do this everyday and soon the little slump that has taken hold of me over the last 3 weeks will be a thing of the past.

To help me this week I set myself a very short task list. I have written it in my tracker as well so that it is there every time I write something down.

1) Track everything (preferably stick to 20 points but the main aim is to write it all down)
2) Drink min 2 litres of water daily
3) Do my Challenge exercise
4) Have equal to or less than 2 sugar points a day
5) Have fun doing things that make me look good, and feel great :)

That's it. A very short checklist that I will be able to achieve. I will achieve.

I received my 'Drop A Jeans Size' (DAJS) email this morning setting the weeks exercise challenge day by day. It seems very achievable. For at least 5 of the 7 days I am to take a 45 minute walk. This is broken down into warm up, walk, cool down. On alternate days the walk component is to be 'Interval Walking'. This means I am to walk at my brisk pace for 1 minute, then up the speed to fast (or jog if I am so inclined) for 30 seconds then back to walking. To make things a little more difficult initially I have to make sure I am walking 'correctly'. This means back straight, shoulders down, tummy in, butt clenched (apparently I have to imagine I am holding a $100 note in my butt cheeks as I walk - I don't want to drop that now do I LOL), and then walk. It may take me a few goes to get it right but it is supposed to help in the overall toning. As I get more fit, or feel that this is too easy, I am to increase the amount of the 'fast' walk. I think 30 seconds would be fine if I am supposed to go for a period of 35 minutes. The most I have ever done like this is 20 minutes on the treadmill. I am allowed to do other exercise and will start to do my 5 minute abs workout at night again.

I am going to Adelaide tomorrow morning but will be continuing my challenges whilst I am there. I need to have some time to myself when I am there and this will be what I will do. I am looking forward to the trip as I have not seen my sister or my neice who live in Canada for just under 6 years. They boys have never met them so are excited to meet their Aunty and cousin for the first time. And Mum should be released from hospital tomorrow too so all in all should be a great week. I will make it a great week!


Points FTD: 22.5
Points Left FTW: 117.5
Sugar Points: 0
Checklist: 5/5
DAJS Challenge: Done
Other Exercise: 30 minute easy walk at lunch
TIAGF: Determination

Posted by Margaret at 5:43:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Lesson: Fake Tans 101

DO NOT de-hair yourself immediately before applying tan. The dry scaly bits will result in a different colour

DO NOT put on a white bra directly afterwards unless you wanted to dye it a tea colour

DO NOT forget to moisturise because dry skin sucks up the tan and you will need to put more on

DO NOT put too much on because you will go different colours

DO NOT splash water on your legs when furiously scrubbing your hands to get the tan off as the splash marks and resulting water trail down your leg will wash off the tan and leave non-tanned stripes down them

DO make sure you do it on a cold day so you can at least wear jeans and a long sleeved shirt to hide the attempt

DO make sure you do it on a weekend when your DH is away so that the laughter will be minimised

DO laugh at yourself so at least you know what to expect

DO be grateful that you got the face right :)


This post should answer Kathryn's question re tanning LOL

Posted by Margaret at 8:39:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Since I am definitely NOT an idiot, today I (thanks Argy *mwah*) printed out all the information I need for the Walking With Attitude "Drop a Jeans size in 6 weeks" challenge. This is an ongoing challenge which means if I start on the 19th September (the first official day) my 6 weeks starts from there. If I start on the 29th September, my 6 weeks starts then. And so forth. I am going to start on the 19th September. I know that I will be in Adelaide for the 20th - 25th Sept, and probably again from the 17th October but I will still complete my challenge. And it works in perfectly with the "Bloggers in Joggers" (more info on that over the weekend *quivers with excitement*)

This challenge looks different to the last one in that it talks about focussing on specific activities that they will set me for the week. They are using terms like 'Interval Walking', 'Intensity Walking', and 'Pyramid Walking'?? I think I am getting scared. LOL. The theme of the challenge will be based on Snakes and Ladders so I am sure there will be some twists along the way. To keep track of what I am set to do, and what I achieve each day, I am going to have a section on my post dedicated to this challenge. That way the information will always be there for me to use in the future. The little pieces of paper I have downloaded to carry in my wallet will be great on a day to day basis but in the long run they will end up with all my other little pieces of paper - lost!!

As part of the challenge they provide a pledge to print out, fill in, and sign. There is also a space to fill in what you are going to reward yourself with. My Pledge is:

I, M, for the next 6 weeks have chosen to commit to the 'Drop a Jeans Size' Challenge with Attitude because..

* I want to do this - I know I can do this!

* I deserve to feel good about myself.

* I know I am happier when I take better care of myself, which includes walking regularly.

* My body & mind will feel healthier and I will have more energy to enjoy the things I love.

* The benefits that come from completing this challenge will be greater than just having an awesome butt (but that's pretty good too)

My reward will be a new pair of size 12 jeans for committing to the challenge for the next 6 weeks.

I know I can do this!

Did I just say size 12 jeans!!!!! Whooo hoooo what fun. So Michelle and LMS (who I know are registered wwa'ers) lets get going.

I'm excited :D

Posted by Margaret at 7:06:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Thought I would start with a silly title. LOL.

I am cranky at myself. This week was all planned out as being my "recovery from the previous week" week. I shopped on Monday morning and bought the right amount of food for the week at work. I bought great, fresh ingredients, and a treat for each day (nestle diet choc mousse) to be savoured on my return from the gym. Monday was great. Then Tuesday happened. When, initially, I thought the plan was to get confirmed DS2 had a cold I shopped at Coles first so that I would have all the right things at home for the day. I was not going to let a diversion change my plan. Of course we know what happened next and I think I have spent the last two days feeling sorry for myself. So sorry that I baked some 97% fat free banana muffins yesterday. It would have been Ok except for the fact that I promptly ate 6. *sigh* Then I went 'hunting'. I have discovered a new fruit & muesli bar from Mother Earth that I wanted DS1 to try. It has a little bit of chocolate on it to help with the enticing. It enticed me. I also had some frozen sausage rolls for a treat for the boys. They enticed me. Even the fact that we had no sauce in the house didn't put me off.

I am an idiot.

As I was watching Fox8 Rock INXS last night I looked down at my belly which was puffing a little over the top of my jeans as I slouched on the lounge. I prodded it and it wobbled. I tried to tuck it in my jeans but that didn't work. I pulled my tshirt down low and grumbled something about miracles and promptly fell asleep. And that is where I stayed till approx 1.30am when DH decided to investigate where I was.

He is an idiot. (though a very loveable one)

Today we had a morning tea at work. One of the guys has 20 years service and the big cheese came down to present the award. Luckily my friend from work rang me last night and gave me the heads up so I was appropriately attired. I clapped, I took photos, and I had my diet coke. The big cheese said "you're looking well M" I said "thanks".

DH is off to the snow tomorrow with DS1 and another mate with his DS1. Two men. Two almost 4 year old boys. How hilarious is that going to be. It is a trip planned and booked many moons ago to take advantage of a special off-peak family package. 2 adults 2 children. They can't discriminate against what makes up a family. Hope they have a double bed and 2 singles. LOL. I am looking forward to the peace that comes with only having one child for the weekend. It will make it easier to get things organised for our trip to Adelaide on Tuesday. Just me and the boys. DH will be staying here to work.

So on that note I shall get my tail into gear and get the suitcases packed for the boys roadtrip tomorrow.

And I shall spend less time being cranky with myself, and more time doing things that will make me happy. Like exercising. And eating well. And just generally being an idiot ;)

Posted by Margaret at 7:27:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

On such a happy sunny Sydney day I would like to say a big Happy Birthday to Mary today and to Kathryn for tomorrow. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Hip Hip Hooray *mwah*

Posted by Margaret at 8:07:00 am | Permalink

Interior design

The person who decided that combining bright purple, irridescent teal blue, and pearlised lino was the right thing to do inside the toilet of the Emergency ward of the Sydney Childrens Hospital at Randwick should be sternly spoken to. It was definitely not the colour combination to soothe the frazzled nerves of this Mum who spent 4 hours there (not all in the toilet!) whilst DS2 was under observation. What I thought was just a cold with a persistant cough worried the Dr so much that he gave DS2 ventilin to help him breathe and packed us off forthwith. I am happy to report that DS2 is OK, with perhaps a bit of whingy and frustration creeping into his normal happy demeanor. We have tools for the next 3 days to see how he responds and we are hoping that it is just a viral infection with asthma type symptoms. We shall wait and see. But it bodes well as he has been asleep for an hour now and that hasn't happened for days. (fingers crossed he gets a good nights sleep)

I'll have mine with fries thanks

On the way back from the hospital DH and I went for a drive hoping DS2 would get a good sleep in the car. He did. We drove along all the beaches and at Bondi DH asked me to hop out of the car, go to Oporto's, and get him a Bondi Burger. With the works. Gee thanks mate!. I did as I was asked and DH drove around the block. I bought a wrap for me, no chilli, no mayo so probably the best choice. However (and there is always a however) I just missed him as he drove past and whilst waiting for him to do his lap I thought I would try a chip. It was sensational. I thought it might have been a mistake - an illusion of sorts - so I had another, and another. Where was he? And another. DH is so nice sharing his fries :)

Wizard of Oz

After my first official weights session yesterday I felt really good. I did all the exercises and only cut down a few reps on some of the harder ones. Most exercises I have to do 3 sets of 12 reps and for some I could only get to 10 on the last set and that was really pushing it. Today I feel like the Tin man out of the Wizard of Oz before he got the oil put on his joints. I can move but I creak with each movement. I was supposed to do a cardio session today to help with the stiffness and pacing up and down has helped to some degree ;) As I am unlikely to be going in to work tomorrow I have dusted off my ww dvd and will put that in tomorrow during a DS2 nap and then hopefully back to weights on Thursday.

Surprise

Yesterday I mentioned that I was grateful for surprises. It was because when I got home there was a parcel waiting for me on the doorstep. It was from the Walking With Attitude people who sent me a pair of Brooks socks, a running bum-bag that I can put a bottle of water in, my keys, my phone - very handy, and I also got a subscription to their site for one year. As I already have a subscription I am happy to pass this voucher on to someone who would like to officially register and log their steps and take part in any future challenges and be able to be in the running for prizes. Just drop me an email and I will reply with the voucher code and off you go. Wish they sent me more than one but I will send to the first in. It was really nice to get this surprise and for something so little it has made me feel really good. (** SOLD. Little Miss Sexy sure types fast LOL. Have fun - it's on its way to you **)

Finally

I have a gmail e-mail (thanks to Mary) and it has been brilliant. It is very different to outlook, or telstra dot com and other systems like that and I am so happy that I have one. As you can't just go to gmail and get one you have to wait to be invited. But invitations are only offered rarely. I currently have some invitations I can send out if you would like to have a gmail account. Again, just drop me a line and I will send you an invitation. I have a lot so don't be shy :)

That's it from me. I am shattered and even though it is not yet 8.00pm I am going to bed. I am going to dream happy dreams and wake up refreshed and ready to tackle anything that comes my way. Which it probably will LOL.. Sweet dreams

Points FTD: 26
Sugar Points: 0
Points Left FTW: 94.6
Exercise: Pacing
TIAGF: Little blessings

Posted by Margaret at 7:58:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Being an at home weigher it would have been very easy not to weigh today. Give myself a 'no weigh' card as it were. I did give it a fleeting thought but realised that if I did that it would be opening the flood gates to bad habits so got on anyway. The scales posted a gain of 900gms which equals all my previous gains rolled together. I am not happy about the gain. But I accept it and the reasons that it is there. Being a statistician type person I know that my average weekly loss of 743.5gms is still a fantastic effort. And over the last three weeks I have lost an average of 466.6gms. Still not shabby. LOL I could make the numbers mean anything given enough time. Perhaps I should go and work for the government ;)

I started reading a book yesterday "You Were Born Rich" and there was a poem in the preface which just struck a huge cord with me. I am posting it here as a reminder to myself that my dreams, aspirations, and successes are limitless.

One And Only You

Every single blade of grass,
And every flake of snow -
Is just a wee bit different...
There's no two alike, you know.

From something small, like grains of sand,
To each gigantic star
All were made with THIS in mind:
To be just what they are!

How foolish then, to imitate -
How useless to pretend!
Since each of us comes from a MIND
Whose ideas never end.

There'll only be just ONE of ME
To show what I can do -
And you should likewise feel very proud,
There's only ONE of YOU.

That is where it all starts
With you, a wonderful
unlimited human being

James T. Moore

Points FTD: 19.5
Sugar Points: 0
Points Left FTW: 120.5
Exercise: 40 min weights
TIAGF: Surprises

Posted by Margaret at 7:23:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

It is one thing to say that I have learned valuable lessons on this journey. It is another thing entirely to ensure those lessons are put in practice every single day. I know that what I eat and how I react to situations is up to me and I cannot lay the blame on my actions on anyone else. But if I were allowed to I would put it all squarely at the feet of DH.

It all started on Friday night when the DH in question came home completely and absolutely legless. Initially it always makes me laugh when he tries to carry on a conversation because he does so try to sound sober. Fails miserably every time. But then the humour goes downhill. Normally because after making lots of noise getting himself someting to eat, waking up sleeping children, he usually ends up being sick. Everywhere except the bathroom. Yuck. Then has the audacity not to remember a thing the next day. Especially the bit where he has lost his wallet. Again. Getting legless when you are childless at least means you get to sleep in the next day. But the two automatic alarms were up Saturday morning at 6.00am sharp and 'the headached one' could not rise to the occasion. This puts a lot of pressure on me. This is on top of some other varied things at the moment. One being money.

We are not poor but we live pretty close to the bone. Part of that is because when we moved to Sydney DH was in an extremely good high-paying job and we entered into property rental agreements and vehicle lease agreements at the high end of the scale. Then he was without a job just as we found out we were going to have DS1. For 8 months. This eroded every bit of savings we had. DH did get another job and things looked like they were getting back on track. We were pregnant with DS2 and the job went away again. This time we bounced back quicker, but we have never recovered financially. We are working on it but as Cat has mentioned in her posts when you work on contract you always get paid after the fact, and when starting a new contract this can mean 4 - 6 weeks with no money coming in. That makes it tough. So we are in a slightly better place now which just means we can pay our bills, buy little things here and there, and don't really have to worry when buying groceries that the cards will bounce, but we have little savings. This is what has me worried.

The trip to Adelaide was fantastic and I will be going back but it makes me so mad that money even has to be a consideration. Why can't I just have enough to go whenever I want and take all the boys with me. I have to plan the next visit and I really don't think we can all afford to go. If DH doesn't work - he doesn't get paid so a week day visit for him is really out of the question at the moment and if he can't come, I can't take the boys as it is too much for me to fly with them myself. It just makes me want to cry. I should cry. Then maybe I wouldn't eat so much :/

This weekends mindless eating fest has consisted of (and perhaps more) A bag of licorice bullets, apple licorice, mango licorice, licorice twists (damn showbag DH bought in Adelaide!) 3 bags of Dutch licorice, egg-bacon-mushroom-tomoto wrap, pizza, hot chips, chocolate, milo, cheese & spinach croissant, .. that's really it actually. It feels like so much more. I feel sluggish. Bloated. Disappointed. And cranky at myself that during each and every mouthful I was fully cognisant of what I was doing - yet did it anyway. That is not the way that saying is supposed to work.

So what do I do about it? I go to bed early tonight (ie before 2.00am). I have a bath before bed. I appreciate that it is done and I can't undo the actual events, but I can put into place a plan of action to reverse any consequences of my actions. Last weeks gym efforts were dismal (other than the swim) so I will go every day and love every minute. And I will eat well. I will get my weekly work groceries on the way in on Monday morning and I will only eat what I purchased then. No food-court food. If I do that I will be in a better place because I have respected myself. It doesn't solve my other worries but if I don't have to worry about my food then I will be able to devote time to solving the other problems. In fact, that's it. I didn't want to worry about the other stuff, so I have been eating like an idiot so I wouldn't have to. I was giving myself something else to worry about. Talk about a lightbulb moment. Should have blogged about this Saturday morning. Maybe it would not have got so out of control.

I think because I have been a little stressed is why I took the comment from the work colleague so much to heart. I do think he meant it as a compliment. I do think he was being sincere. I do think that he is naturally an idiot anyway. So I am over it. But I owe a lot of gratitude to everyone who pointed out to me the very special way men think sometimes (no offence to my huge legion of adoring male fans ;) )

Righto M - get to it.

Posted by Margaret at 8:09:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Phew. Everytime I came to my blog I was getting a colour headache so the brightness just had to go. It was perfect for my birthday but now some calm spring colours are just what I need. I updated my profile pic using my web cam so the quality is extremely poor but I am wearing my new birthday top and my new necklace. I really like it :)

Last night I could not stop thinking about my top. Other than my 2 tracksuits that I have bought (16 & 14 respectively) it has been a long long time since I have bought myself a top. In fact when I sat down to think about it I realised that the last one I bought was a white mens polo shirt size XL. Wow. To buy a size M has just blown me away. I love it so much so I wore it to work today (with Nelly again - must wash her tonight LOL) and got quite a lot of attention. The top is quite fitted and for the first time you can really notice my (what word can I use politely here - tits, boobs, breasts) chest. I am not a huge girl but I'm not small either. To wear a top like this is really taking me out of my comfort zone in relation to the attention I got. Now, most of the attention was a quick glance, perhaps a comment on how nice I looked and that was it. I can handle that and it actually made me feel really good.

Then it happened. My very first lascivious incident. I was walking to the bathroom, down a narrow walkway near some workstations and a colleague (manager - not mine) was standing in the walkway. He glanced up as I was walking toward him, then he stared and checked me up and down. He said to me "gee M you are walking well" w.t.f.? "Yes" I said "I am - though on these heels I could topple over any minute" and laughed. I walked past him and just knew he was staring at my butt. This was confirmed when a second later I hear "Gee your DH is going to start having to look out for you" I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Was I dressed like a hooker? Did my top expose too much skin, shape, anything? What could he see that I couldn't? I was really pissed off. What I saw was a not bad looking figure in a decent pair of jeans and a smart little top. Not low cut, no unneccesary exposed bits. Nothing that should elicit such a comment.

My common sense is telling me that he was probably just surpised at the difference and his mouth moved quicker than his brain. But, this is a real issue for me. I don't want to wear sacks anymore. I want to look young(ish) and stylish. I am finally getting comfortable in my own skin and I am being careful not to overdo it by rushing out and buying the latest trendy gear. That just doesn't suit me. I am a conservative dresser (not that you would know that by the swimming cap LOL) and I am just learning now how to dress myself all over again. I don't want to retreat back because of one incident. And I won't. *deep breath*

I have eaten quite a lot so far this week and whilst I know the birthday is almost an excusable reason I have to reign it in now before it turns in to a habit I can't break. Today has been good, 20 points and I am done for the night. So it will probably have to be an early night LOL.



Points FTD: 20
Sugar Points: 2
Exercise: 30 minute walk
TIAGF: Everything

Posted by Margaret at 9:19:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

I have had a wonderful birthday today. Getting extra cuddles from my boys. Having singing competitions in the car to see who can sing Happy Birthday the loudest and with the silliest words. Receiving cards and pressies from work mates and in the mail. Calls from Mum, Dad and other family. Getting good wishes from my blog-mates (thank you all so very very much). It all added up to a great, happy, wonderful day.

One of my gifts was a $30.00 voucher for Sussan so all thoughts of going to the gym disappeared in a second and I went shopping and bought a really cool brown polo shirt (medium) and some great bracelets. Then went to Accessorize and bought a great necklace. It is just a silver circle tied up with some brown leather. Simple but really nice. I also got a hair clip from a friend at work - silver, in the shape of a butterfly with sparkly bits on it, and another friend bought me a cute little paper bag filled with different sorts of Dutch licorice - yummm.

A year ago, whilst I still loved my birthday, I dreaded getting presents. What could I possibly get that I would be happy with. Chocolates - yes love them but some part of me would be angry with myself for eating them and thinking that it was the only gift that people would think I would like, Champagne - no problems there LOL (and is what DH just came home with - Veuve Clicquot), or Clothes - always too small or too masculine. No ones fault but my own but it was depressing all the same. DH bought me a shirt off the internet last year. A very feminine business type shirt from a fancy schmancy store he buys his shirts from. There was no way I would fit even half of my belly in that shirt. I kept it as it was a really good shirt but it has been hanging in my wardrobe for a year. I have tried it on from time to time but as it is a fitted shape I really had to lose some weight before it would look good. I wore that shirt today. With my Nelly's. And I looked good. I have received a few compliments from people who haven't commented up to now. I think with 18kgs gone even the blokes are starting to notice. LOL. Blokes. Gotta love 'em.

Anyway, as I did not do any exercise I started thinking about whether there were any fun runs / walks coming up and after heading to the WWA site I found that the Walk for a Cure walks have been set. October 16th around the country. I am going to go. Shall we make it a national effort? I would love to meet up with any Sydney Bloggers who want to get together and have a laugh whilst walking. I am going to officially register and do the whole fund raising bit but you don't have to. You can just turn up and walk on the day and perhaps put in a coin donation at the collection areas, or we can all register and form a team and I can organise t-shirts. How hilarious. And completely silly. But a very good way to recognise ourselves :) Anyway, if you are interested the site information is here and it contains a heap of PDF's about the track, fundraising, t-shirt printing (yes it was their idea - not mine LOL). So, if you want to come and meet up, send me an email and we'll work it out. It's a bit scary thinking that I may actually meet some people in the flesh but I figure with 15,000 other people in the crowd if we all get too scared we can just disappear ;)

Oh and I have a suggestion for our team name "Bloggers in Joggers"

And one last time before I go off to clean the house before bed and it no longer counts "Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeee" LOL. As my lovely almost 4 year old would say "Mummy - you are crackers"


**EDIT** I have been trying to catch up on all the new regular bloggers but some of you haven't got your blog profile showing. So Julie, if you read this, can you please send me your blog address, or update your setting to allow people to see the blog name when they click on your profile. I want to say HI but I can't


Points FTD: 29.5 plus whatever champers I down tonight :)
Sugar Points: Not sure but at least 12.5
Exercise: Shopping
TIAGF: Birthdays

Posted by Margaret at 7:28:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

I LOVE birthdays. Especially mine. LOL. It is going to be a beautiful sunny day in Sydney today and I am going to go to the gym at lunch and then treat myself to something special. Don't know what yet though. But it will be yummy :)

Boy how far have I come in a year. More on that later. Hope everyone has a wonderful day too.

Posted by Margaret at 6:06:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Photo is copywrite www.headcovers.com

I am sure it will make me look just soooooooooooo super sexy. And you can bet when I wear it there is no way anyone will be looking at my arse ;)

Points FTD: 20
Sugar Points: 3
Exercise: 15 minute swim & 15 minute spa *lovely*
TIAGF: Gym memberships.

Posted by Margaret at 8:07:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

And its time to make a change to the blog. Tried last night and got it all bright and 'springy' but when I published it none of the new colours worked - d'oh. Back to the drawing board. Don't know what it will end up like yet but need to see some colour. Am going to buy a swimming cap today as I am going to hit the pool tonight. whooo hoooo

Points FTD: 18 + heaps of licorice
Sugar Points:0 + licorice
Exercise: 30 min on treadmill incl 3 x 2 min jogs.
TIAGF: Spring.

Posted by Margaret at 9:35:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Not having weighed myself over the weekend I was not sure what to expect when I weighed this morning (I chose to weigh a day later so that I could use the same scales) and was very surprised to see I registered a loss of 600gms. Which brings me up to a nice round 18kgs. Whooo Hoooo. I did not track in writing over the weekend but made a concerted effort to track in my head. What I found is that I had a good breakfast every day and whilst the other meals were not as nutritiously sound as I would normally have, I watched my portions and stopped to allow myself to feel full. I did snack, and I did have some of the things that I only get from Mum & Dad's, but I shared rather than had whole snacks to myself. I also managed to go for a great long walk along the river on the Monday morning which was beautiful and fantastic.

I am very happy to be home, though it was sad saying goodbye - as it always is. This time though it hurt a little more as you never know what is going to happen. We had a great time with Mum and the boys were great. By the end they were climbing up on her bed and we just had to watch that DS2 didn't pull the tube out of her nose - which he was aiming for a lot of the time LOL. It was great to see. And yes, we took loads of photos. Mum's friend is there now for this week and will keep her entertained playing cards, reading, and doing puzzles.

On the butt shrinking front - got loads of compliments. Really nice ones. Both DH & I did and it does make you feel so good. Especially because I have learned just to say 'thank you' instead of saying it was nothing. Because it is something.

Spring is going to be good for me. No matter what happens it is my choice how I react and I choose to enjoy every day. Including today :)

Posted by Margaret at 9:07:00 am | Permalink | Comments

What a wonderful day in Adelaide today. Min temp - 11. Max temp - 12. Precipitation - all day. I just hope the rain heads to Sydney and fills the reserves. The flight from Sydney was great except for the bit where DS2 screamed. Which was the entire flight minus 20 minutes. He was so overtired, and excited and wired and boy did everyone know he was there. There was nothing we could do other than pray he would fall asleep soon. Poor little bugger. DS1 had no such problem and passed out not long after take off.

I saw Mum today and she looks fantastic. It is hard to believe she is that sick when she looks so great. But she is sick and she won't be home this weekend as they can't let her home until her stomach and bowels decide to work properly. But that is OK. We can visit her as often as we want and she is so excited to see the boys. It is lovely. And she has a great room overlooking the golf course. Which looked more like a pond today.

Dad is holding up really well and we are currently visiting and having pizza for dinner. I ordered a chicken burger so doing OK on the food front. Which is pretty difficult since Mum & Dad own a fish and chip shop on the beach and have the most yummy stuff. Dang and blast it :) I will be coming down tomorrow to take the dog for a long walk so hope the rain will have a break when I am here.

Wishing all the Dad's a very Happy Fathers Day for tomorrow.

Points FTD: 22
Sugar Points:5
Exercise: None
TIAGF: Family

Posted by Margaret at 9:40:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Even though the reason I am going to Adelaide is not a happy one, there is part of me that is getting quite excited about going. I haven't been since Christmas and no-one has seen me since I started this journey. I have only emailed one photo home and that was 3 months ago. DH's family have not even got that. I look really different now. And whilst photo's are one thing it is way more noticable face to face because it is not just my size that has changed. My attitude has changed. I am happier and more outgoing and this will be remarked on, but I hope that the main topic of conversation will be the shrinking state of my butt! I know that everyone is going to see Mum but that doesn't mean that they aren't going to notice the difference in both DH (-23kgs) and me (-17kgs). So I am prepared to dazzle. It will definitely give Mum a laugh anyway :)

Will be flying out tomorrow and back on Monday night. Will do a proper catch up then. Have a great weekend everyone and hope the scale gods smile on all your hard work.

Oh and the results of the Winter Walking Challenge are in. I guessed the item in Kate's Bum Bag correctly - it was an 'Espresso'. But I didn't win any prizes. It was all lucky draw but I was hoping that since I had so many entries in I could snaffle at least one. It was excellent fun and I can't wait till they start their Spring "lose a jeans size" Challenge in a couple of weeks time.

Points FTD: Didn't count properly but about 30 again.
Sugar Points:12
Exercise: None
TIAGF: Understanding

Posted by Margaret at 9:24:00 pm | Permalink | Comments