My Journey

Today I went shopping to get my 20kgs of food to donate to our Christmas Food & Gift appeal in our building. I noticed the box had been put out last night so wanted to do it first thing. The following made up 20 kgs:

20 x 500gm packet of pasta
20 x 400gm tin crushed tomatoes
20 x 100gm tin mushroom in butter sauce

It cost me a grand total of $54.82

But more than that I got to feel again what 20kgs feels like. DS1 is about 18kgs now but doesn't feel that heavy as he wraps his limbs around my neck and my waist and spreads his weight around but carrying 2 x 10kg green shopping bags, even a short distance, was an incredible reminder of how it sucked to have that weight on my body. My breathing began to get shallow, my chest was hurting, I could feel that I had to balance my gait so that my hips didn't hurt. I know I didn't carry all my weight in my arms (thank goodness) but even so. 20kgs is 20kgs.

There are some amazing people in blogland who have lost this and so much more. 5kgs 10kgs 25kgs 30kgs 35kgs 40kgs. More. Whatever the weight lost I just want to say that I am re-inspired by everyone's efforts. By the different strategies employed to keep the excitement and motivation high. By how people take the ups and downs that life throws at them and work their way around them. Some plough straight over the top, and some stroll around whilst they rebalance their minds and their souls. Either way.

I think we are all FANTASTIC :D

Posted by Margaret at 11:11:00 am | Permalink | Comments

I am wearing smaller matching undies today, and there are still 5 chocolate Santa's at home. ;D

Posted by Margaret at 8:32:00 am | Permalink | Comments

This morning I was so undecided about whether I would even admit that I had a gain. I was considering doing a no-weigh AFTER I had weighed myself just so I would not have to write down the words and the numbers. But I am so glad that I did. Yes my ego took a bit of a beating, and yes I feel like a bit of an idiot, but at the same time I feel great that I had all those feelings and still went through and admitted to myself that the gain was there. I know that by cheating I cheat no-one but myself but having the internet as a wall between me and another face would have made it very easy to fudge, or hide the truth. I don't need to do that.

So today, after receiving many wonderful comments and compliments and pieces of advice I have done the following:

Went to Myer and stocked up on new daily undies in a slightly smaller size than comfortable. This is where I am headed and having the reminder there everytime I move is incentive enough not to walk to the fridge or pantry or wherever. But it won't stop me walking or exercising!

I have drunk my water willingly and remember why I used to drink 3L a day. It feels great and fills me up.

The food I have eaten today has been healthy and it has been plentiful. But it has all been very low in points.

I have had an attitude readjustment.

I think that I had started thinking about this as a diet instead of a change of lifestyle and as soon as I did that rebellious M came out and said "you can't tell me what to do" and fought me every step of the way. Well I have put her back in her box and I have taken control again. Whilst in Myer I bought some green tinsel to make a tree at home like I did at work and at the checkout I bought 5 chocolate Santa's. They too are going to be stuck on the wall as decoration. I have thought about them a little today but there are still 5 chocolate Santa's and there will remain 5 until they are given to the boys. I am a strong, resourceful person and I just need to keep telling myself that. That doesn't mean that losing the gain will be easy but it will be easier than facing up to another gain. ;D



Even though I have not yet lost my 20kgs I am going to donate 20kgs of packaged food to the Wesley Mission collection at my work. I figured that the short walk from the shops back to work will be much easier on my back than the long walk I did last time. LOL. When I reach 20kgs proper I will do something at that time to mark the milestone too

Posted by Margaret at 7:02:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Or otherwise know as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good
My exercise over the last week. I have walked well over my 10,000 steps a day and at least 45 minutes of that a day is sweat inducing. I have made sure to keep being active for a long as possible in the evening and I have started (again) to doing some abs & arms at night before bed. The weekends are always active and with the additional window shopping in the lead up to Christmas I am hitting close to 15,000 steps on any one day. So this is all good (but can be better!).

The Bad
My eating. I start each day off with the very best of intentions. I even make it through the beginning of the week relatively unscathed but then the planning goes out the window, the false 'cravings' come in to play and instead of being strong I am giving in to them. A case in point would be my icecream craving. I have not had ice cream for quite some time and yesterday I really felt like some but did not voice it because I really didn't need it. So last night when DH asked if we had any icecream in the house and offered to go and get some when we didn't I caved. It also didn't help that he came back with some rich chocolate topping that I then smothered the icecream in. I at least added a banana to try to assuage my guilt but really who am I kidding - that only served to add an extra point to the total.

The Ugly
My weight this morning. 2kgs up on last week. *sigh*. (Note to self: if it is this difficult to write down that you had a gain - don't have a gain)

The Wrap Up
At the beginning of my journey I made a deal with myself that I would take each weigh in as it came. That is was merely a snapshot of the moment and was not an indication that I would fail. That it was to be used to guage and measure my actions of the previous week / weeks and to assist in revisiting certain areas so that I would not repeat bad patterns until they became the only patterns. And I know I have offered this advice to others when the scales have gone up rather than down. Taking my own advice is more difficult. I can see so clearly that the actions I have been taking in relation to food are damaging to my health. I can see that I feel more bloated. The sad thing (in a way) is that my clothes are no tighter than they were 3 weeks ago. In fact a lot of my trousers are slipping off and I am constantly hiking them up. All my undies are too big so I am feeling no pressure.

I have had a look at some of my earlier posts where I listed the reasons for beginning this journey. To become more healthy, To keep up with my boys, To take pressure off my back, To buy clothes from a 'normal' store, To be in a healthy weight range for my height, To be no longer classes as obese. I have achieved ALL of these things. And where I am today is nothing to be ashamed of. But ashamed I am because I know I can do better. I know that I still deserve to look better than I do. I know that to stop now would just be a cop out. I need to come up with some new reasons to keep going and not ones that are only vanity induced.

The Plan for today
Drink: 3 x 750ml pump
Eat: no more than 20 pts
Exercise: add in a workout in the evening at home
Think: positively
Act: postively, and like you mean it

Posted by Margaret at 10:14:00 am | Permalink | Comments

And I don't mean blogger Kris either LOL.

Each year at Christmas we have a Kris Kringle in our office. It is low value, $10.00, and it is not mandatory so people put forward their interest to go in it. We had a high intake this year 21 from a possible 23. The names have been distributed and we have just shy of 2 weeks to purchase our gifts and leave them under the tree.

And as a sidenote we lost our Christmas tree somewhere between our moves from Level 22 to Level 6 to Level 7 so in order to have somewhere to leave the gifts I blue-tacked some green tinsel in the shape of a tree on the wall and put a printed out angel on the top. Stunning !

So today someone left a gift. It was a stack of 6 boxes ranging in size from a large one at the bottom through to a small one at the top. It garnered a lot of interest. You see there was a twist put on Kris this year. We have to buy a gift that starts with the same letter as the first initial of the person we are buying for. For example. Lets say that I got someone whose name started with an 'M' (which I did and it wasn't me). I could, for example, fill up the boxes with a mini nail brush, a mud pack, some m&m's, a tin of mushrooms, some fake money, a pack of marshmallows and a really nice picture frame. Or in M speak a Memory Holder. LOL. But everyone is now convinced that as the boxes look like they cost $10 themselves that they are actually the gift. Many boxes. How funny. By the time I left tonight two other gifts had joined it. It is all getting very exciting.

I am rushed off my feet at the moment. Sometimes, all the time, I think I bite off more than I can chew and I have to rush around to make sure everything gets done on time. This is one of those times. So if I don't come on for a day or two, or three, don't worry. I am just making sure that I have everything ready before we go and that the house is left in a really good condition so that when we return it greets us happily. Housework has been slipping lately and I really have to focus on that as well as work and Christmas preparations.

Tomorrow we are going to visit Santa in his Magic Cave at DJ's in the city. We have lived in Sydney for 5.5 years and this will be my first visit. I am so excited. I mean, the kids are so excited. We get to see the window displays, and line up and have our photo's taken. Ahhhh Christmas with children is so much fun. The joy, the wonder, the belief. The belief is what I love the most.

And even though I am 37.

I still believe. :D

Posted by Margaret at 8:13:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

So I am standing on the corner of Bathurst and Elizabeth, right across from Hyde Park, ready to walk with the fast ladies. We are chatting and generally waiting for the lights to turn green when this guy steps into the intersection on the Hyde Park side. The lights had turned red for pedestrians so we commented that he had left his run late. As he took a couple of steps in to the first lane, in the middle of the intersection he suddenly decided he needed to pull his socks up. That was when we surmised he was drunk. Bending over he carefully balanced on both legs whilst oh so carefully pulling up one sock - not too hard because he wouldn't want his thongs to slip off, then he fell over. Ooops. Obviously he was comfortable where he landed because he continued sitting in the middle of the road oh so carefully pulling up his sock. Then the traffic lights turn green.

Do the cars stay still.

No.

Do they just drive around him.

Yes.

What the!!!!

This guy was so drunk that there was no way he would be able to stand up once he perfected the sock pulling up gig and would probably just roll over - right under a car. So what did I do. I run out into the middle of the road with my hands all up, waving them around like a complete dickhead motioning for the cars to stop. Which they did. Thankfully my mates came with me and proceeded to help me lift this guy up off the ground. As we only had one lane to get to Hyde Park and 5 to get to the other side we thought it best to go the Hyde Park way. Unfortunately Mr Drunk did not. He snatched his thongs off me (they had fallen off so I had picked them up) muttering something about me stealing them, and then proceeded to wobble across 5 lanes of moving traffic.

How hilarious.

It did make walking the rest of the way very difficult for me because we couldn't stop talking and laughing about it and usually the only way I can keep up is if I keep my mouth shut. But I pushed myself and kept up and was sweating so hard when I got back to work.

It felt good. I felt good.

And I will leave the story of the other drunk who we met at another set of lights to another day. Except for the fact that as we sprinted away from him when the lights turned green he yelled after us "Well you all look good for your age"

Ahhh I love Sydney LOL

Posted by Margaret at 7:53:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Let's get the numbers out of the way first. I have broken my plateau by gaining 500gms. My weight is currently 76.5kgs. I have lost a total of 19kgs with 8.5kgs to go. The macro picture of my weight loss is still good. My average is still above that which is recommended as the safe way to lose weight. I still look good in a size 14. I look a bit squishy in a size 12 (but I still try LOL). My health is vastly improved and my physical capabilities are miles ahead of where I started. The micro picture however is not so shiny. I lost 15kgs in 18 weeks and have now taken 14 weeks to lose 4kgs. Those figures are not so great. I would be really happy with them if I knew that I did everything right and followed my plan and it was just the body taking time to readjust. But it isn't. It is because I have not been as disciplined with myself from the moment I started looking normal in my eyes.

Today I have been disciplined and I have discovered, or re-discovered more to the point, that if I don't start snacking - I don't get hungry!! Now why does that work. I would have thought if I snacked at the right times it would stave off the hunger and stop me from getting to the point where I reach out for the first morsel of food - whatever form that came in. But today I made my food plan (and when I do this I am very loose - I give or take from meals during the day) and instead of just eating everything that I have written down, I have let my hunger dictate to me when I should eat. So, I ended up eating less at morning tea because I was not that hungry. I did not have my cob of corn with my sumo salad at lunch (pumpkin, walnut, roast pinenuts, fetta - yum) because the salad filled me up. Instead I had the corn at 2.30 which pushed my afternoon tea back to 4.00 when I had a yoghurt and an apple.

Normally at this time is when I start getting bored at work, I want to go home, I don't want to work on what I am supposed to, so I look for food. Eating takes up time and makes me look busy. I should just work. But I eat and once I start with the snacks I want more. So now I know. And you would have thought I had learned this lesson by now. Don't just eat because the food is there and because my habits have said this is when you have to eat. AND make sure the snacks are of the more healthy kind; nuts, fruit, yoghurt, cut up veges (you know - I have not yet done this!!), etc. Little things like this will see a renewal of good eating habits. Habits that will take me into Christmas with a renewed energy, and a subconscious ability to make and keep to healthy options.

The countdown begins.

And thank you for your kind words re my scrapbooking idea. I am getting really excited. I have mapped out on paper what I plan to do and after I load up some software on the PC I should be able to start straight away. Not sure if you picked up I will be doing digital scrapbooking. And yes, busy hands will make it more difficult to eat. Not impossible but I find if my mind is really busy then I don't want to eat anyway. I will let you know how I get on. Might be good to get some impartial feedback before I print and put it all together.

Posted by Margaret at 8:28:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Yesterday I was hanging clothes up to dry on a rack on the back deck. It was sunset and I stopped and took in the view. The colours were amazing. On our fence there is a bright red bourgenvillea growing. The Jacaranda is still covered in purple flowers, although the wind is trying valiently to rip them all off and drop them in our yard. And the sun was bright bright orange. There were a few clouds catching the reflection of the sun as it dipped over the horizen and just as the sun disappeared it sent up the bright glow as if to say "I'll be back tomorrow". It is difficult to explain how watching something like that made me feel. Very calm. Very at peace. OR that could have been the result of the night time cold and flu tablet mixed with several bourbon and d.cokes. Either way I was feeling pretty fine :D

Today I have had a good balance of being outside exercising and time spent inside on the computer. Having been inspired by Tina's scrapbooking efforts I have decided that I am going to put together an album to give Mum for Christmas. I have asked both my sisters to send me photos, giving me info on dates, events, reasons etc so that I can put something together. I have never done this before and apart from one complimentary get together have never done the real live scrapbooking either so this should be an interesting exercise. It will take me some time and as I only have the evenings I am going to alternate blogging evenings with scrapbooking evenings. OR break a leg so that I can stay at home. I hear that you can hire people to do this. I may look into that. I am looking forward to doing it as I think Mum will really love it and it will be something she can carry around with her.

I haven't been on the scales for a few days so unsure what to expect but even money will be on a gain. I have not been sticking to the plan as far as eating is concerned. The exercise I pretty much have got covered at the moment but through no ones fault but my own I am purposefully putting temptation in my way, then succumbing to it. That stopped last night. As I was getting ready for bed I noticed that my belly was getting really fat. And it was a very sobering moment. When I gained weight before I pretty much gained evenly all over, so no one thing was really bigger than anything else. But last night the efforts of my poor eating showed right where they belonged and I was not happy with that. So today has been a good day and like my renewal of exercise joy last week I will take eating one day at a time this week and let the days turn into weeks. I really want to make a push now before we go away. So I have 4 weeks.

And it will be a good 4 weeks.


**Edit** Have fixed up the link error so now it actually goes to Tina's blog, and have done my maths and seen that it is only 4 weeks till we are in Adelaide. Eeeek

Posted by Margaret at 8:41:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

I left doing this for a while for a couple of reasons. 1) So that I had time to work out what I could put in here and 2) So that people forgot what other people wrote so you can't see if I am just copying it from someone else LOL. I have changed the group titles because the ones that were there just showed up my complete lack of life. But perhaps these will show that more :D


Twelve movies I like
(in no particular order)

1. The Power of One
2. Shawshank Redemption
3. Green Mile
4. Mary Poppins
5. The Sound Of Music
6. Love Actually
7. The Colour Purple
8. Ferris Beulers Day Off
9. Shrek (I love that we can be both Princess and Ogre at the same time)
10. Lara Croft
11. Toy Story Series
12. The Dish

Eleven books on my bedside table
(yes I am currently reading all of them)

1. Don't Kiss Them Goodbye - Allison Dubois
2. Natural Health for Kids - Dr John Briffa
3. Toddler Taming - Dr Christopher Green
4. Raising Boys - Steve Biddulph
5. French Women Don't Get Fat - Mireille Guiliano
6. The One Minute Millionaire - Mark Victor Hansen
7. The Notebook Magazine (all 4 of them)
8. The Slimming & Health Magazine (current version)
9. The WW Magazine (Nov/Dec Issue)
10. The Ultimate Family Cookbook
11. The Contented Tummy Cookbook

Ten Things about me

1. I was born in the Netherlands and moved to Australia when I was 3, on the 4th October 1971
2. I am a Virgo
3. My favourite music is either Classical or Christmas Carols (though I enjoy a rather eclectic mix like Masters of Chant and Ministery of Sound)
4. I have double jointed elbows (now how is that usefull!)
5. I have moved 13 times in my life - 9 since I have been married
6. I am really good at packing and moving
7. I am hopeless at unpacking
8. I have never had a best friend
9. I am the middle child and have two sisters
10. I am 175cm tall but the shortest out off all of my sisters and cousins

Nine CD's in my car

1. Swing when you are winning - Robbie Williams
2. Holiday - Hi-5
3. Live Hot Potatoes - Wiggles
4. Yule Be Wiggling - Wiggles
5. The Wiggles Movie - Wiggles (I can see a theme starting)
6. Thomas The Tank Engine (2 story CD's)
7. Toy Story (Story CD)
8. The Incredibles (Story CD)
9. Ants (Story CD)

8 Favourite Foods & Drinks

1. Champagne
2. Bourbon & Diet Coke
3. Midori & Lemonade
4. Merlot
5. E&E Black Pepper Shiraz
6. Champagne
7. Corbans Private Bin Hawke's Bay Merlot Cabernet Sauvignon 1999 (someone gave us a bottle of this cracker NZ wine and I wish they had given us a case - brilliant!)
8. Oh was I supposed to put food here ?? - Chocolate or Cheese

Seven Things I wear daily

1. Jewellery (wedding rings, watch (given by DH on my 30th b'day), golf bangle (given by DH on my 25th b'day)
2. Perfume (Thierry Mugler - Angel, Versace - Blonde, Ralph Lauren - Blue)
3. Undies & Bras - rarely matching
4. Blistex
5. Mascara
6. Hair Accessories (hairband, elastic, clips - anything to get my hair off my face)
7. A huge smile

Six things I dislike

1. Intolerance
2. Myself when I am being a bitch (but sometimes I just can't help it)
3. People who walk 5 across on the footpath and expect to be allowed to walk together, at a crawl. Get out of my way people! (I think Kathryn had the same peeve)
4. People who do not move to the back of the bus (grrrrr)
5. People who stare at my boobs when they talk to me
6. Arriving late to anything

Five things I do daily

1. Smother all my boys with kisses
2. Say "I love you" to my Mum and my boys
3. Track what I eat / what I do / what I drink
4. Play silly games and make up silly stories with my boys
5. Pray for a parking spot out the front of the house when I get home

Four Shows I watch

1. The Biggest Loser
2. The Cut (Reality show with Tommy Hillfieger)
3. Sunrise - part of it anyway
4. Disney Channel

Three places I have lived

1. Nieuwpoort, Netherlands
2. Elstree, London, England
3. Wagga Wagga, NSW
(in addition to Blacktown, NSW; Adelaide, SA; (5 other suburbs of Adelaide); Waverton, NSW (2 other suburbs of Sydney)

Two Things I want

1. A flat, non-wobbly stomach
2. The confidence to expect that what I want will happen

One person I want to see right now

1. My new nephew Bradley.

Posted by Margaret at 9:14:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Thank you to de-gas. You have been my saviour.

Bloody husband hogged the PC for the second night in a row. Bugger bugger. A laptop is on my to-do list for research tomorrow.

Hello to Lesley who has started her blog but because of my DH I am only now able to say hello. Hello.

Got the kindy photos of my boys today. They both look so grown up. Still didn't make me want to have another one.

Got the new slimming mag. Quite a good one. Great photo of the trainers from Biggest Loser.

Bribing DS1 seems to be working well. He has now slept in his own bed, all night, for 2 nights, without getting me up on false pretenses of having a 'problem' in his room. I am paying him tokens (poker chips). I hope I am not scarring him for life ;D

Had pizza tonight. And garlic bread. And mini-magnums. Two of them. I need a kick up the bum. *ouch* Just did it.

I walked over 13,000 steps for the third day in a row. My calves hurt. My calves are large. I have been looking on the internet for liposuction for my calves. It can be done. Now that I know it can be done, I am scared to look further.

A cousin of DH's who is married with two children has just informed the family that they are separating. We are in shock as we like both parties. But it is their life and they will work it through.

I am thinking about getting another mini-magnum. I won't. I won't. I won't.

I am going to bed.

I am going to dream happy, successful thoughts and tomorrow I will have 20pts and I will exercise and everything will be OK in my world.

Tomorrow night I will blog. I know this as DH is planning to go to the pub. God bless pubs ;D


(Please feel free to offer any butt kicking solutions and I promise to act on all of them)

Posted by Margaret at 10:17:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

I saw this quiz on Daniel's blog and did the quiz. Again I think I agree with the results. I also think I have to stop doing these quizzes and get on with actually doing 'stuff' LOL.

Posted by Margaret at 8:41:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

And it is not Fernando!

Today has been really strange at work. I work in the CBD of Sydney and today we had the march against the proposed Industrial Relations changes. It was not pretty. Angry people. Angry gestures and words. I did not partake but as the march went by the tension was palpable in the office. People who would normally walk at lunch time chose not to. No-one wanted to be in the wrong place in case violence erupted. Sad. As the march was done on one arterial road and my gym is on another I still went and did a good half hour on the treadmill. I am starting to use the incline now and can really feel the difference in my legs. It makes me work much harder (really ;D ). I felt clearer and really good that I have now done two days in a row at the gym. Whoo hooo me.

Then of course the company I work for made a major restructuring announcement today that involves the reduction of staff & contractors over the next 5 years. 6,000 - 8,000 over 3, and 10,000 by the end of 5 years (Anyone want to make a guess as to who I work for LOL) These reductions have been going on for years and nothing that was announced today had not already been happening within the company for years now. Technology changes and improvements are always going to eventuate in the reduction of staff required to do the same amount of work. This time though is the first time our group has been directly in the firing line. I am not sure how I feel about it. Actually I am not sure if I should feel guilty for feeling as happy about the possibility of finishing work as I should be. Because if I finish it will probably mean we all will and I don't wish that on anyone else. Just me.

I am tired. I know that there have been a lot of overwhelming things to happen to me over the last year and even though I have great fun every day there is always this feeling of being tired behind it. I am thinking that some time off might be the best thing that can happen. And since my take home salary pretty much equates to 2 full time child care positions plus parking, bus etc my net difference will be approx $75.00 per week. And my redundancy (if I get one) is going to be equivalent to approx one years take home salary which means I have child care covered for 12 months whilst I look for some work and / or help DH build up his business to cover what I would have brought in.

So I am grateful for the fact that I work for a company which at least says goodbye in a nice way when they let people go, and that I have options.

Now as the rain came in today I didn't walk to Central so my steps are down slightly. It may just be the night to break out the Carmen Electra Strip to Fit DVD's and learn me a bit of lap dancing ;D

Posted by Margaret at 6:37:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Whilst it is definitely a time saving measure not to lose any weight, saving me from having to change my ticker, stats, and progress meter, I would rather have the bother. As it is I am exactly the same as last week and the week before. 76kgs.

I think there was definitely reason not to lose this week. Firstly exercise. Whilst I had a very good week in regards to my Christmas Challenge passing my aim of 70,000 for the week the majority of these steps were incidental exercise. I have become very good at walking the long way round, walking instead of driving short distances, and adding in some movement during the evening where I would normally have sat on my tail. But there was only a little bit of red faced, sweaty, bust a gut exercise. Today I have already improved on this with a sweat inducing walk/jog on the treadmill. It felt really good and by the time I got back to the office my steps were already over 10,000. This is what will make the difference this week.

And secondly food. For the first time in what feels like a gazillion years I ate out 4 days last week. Tuesday night at flash restaurant, Thursday night at cafe, Friday at spa and Friday night we had pizza. I added in Gelati when we reached the wharf at Manly on Saturday and a burger for lunch (but to be fair I gave the bacon to DS1, didn't eat the roll, and didn't eat the chips). So all in all it was surpising that I didn't gain. To improve this area this week I have planned to succeed by doing the work grocery shopping this morning and re-stocking my cupboard and fridge as both had run bare. I am very happy with todays food (which I have listed below) and will aim to continue the balanced eating this week. One day at a time.

Breakfast
1.5 WW Tropicana
0.5 WW 2 fruits
1.0 200gm Nestle yoghurt
0.5 Blueberries
0.0 600ml d.v.coke

Snack
1.0 Macadamia Nuts
1.0 Apple

Lunch
0.0 Lettuce mix (pre-bagged from Coles) contains carrot, red cabbage, lettuce
0.0 Cherry tomatoes
0.0 Yellow tomotoes
0.0 Coriander
0.0 Mushrooms
0.0 Pickles
0.5 Pine Nuts
0.0 WW lemon pepper dressing.

1.5 4 cruskits
2.0 ww cream cheese
1.5 Smoked Salmon
0.0 Capers
0.0 Can d.coke

Snack
1.0 Banana
1.0 Nestle diet choc mousse
1.5 Sakata Chicken rice crackers

Dinner - haven't eaten yet
3.0 Grilled Fish
0.5 Sauteed Leeks
1.0 Boubon & d.coke

I am not always honest with myself in regards to the motivation and determination that I feel on this journey. It is always "best foot forward" and stumble through hoping that the motivation will catch up with me. And usually it does. I have been rebelling against myself in little ways and last night I had a good long think as I was folding up laundry (and by the way - does that ever stop!!) and realise that I am being childish. I need to go back to doing this one day at a time and not scaring myself off with making plans that I am having trouble sticking to. If I can do that, then I know the days will turn into weeks, all by themselves and hopefully take a few kilos away with it ;D

Note 1: Thank you so much for your compliments re the straight hair. I do love it but not the cost to maintain so should really set about having a love affair with my curly hair. Perhaps I should learn how to style it properly LOL. And re the last post. I may have been a little melodramatic but I have been known to run off at the mouth and I would hate to think that I would contribute to putting disharmony in this brilliant support group.

Note 2: Over the last couple of days I have seen that there are quite a few people in blogland, and on email, who have been affected by the deaths of young people. Either in their own family or children of close friends and workmates. I would like to pass on my heartfelt sympathies and please know you are in my thoughts.

Posted by Margaret at 6:20:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Since starting this blog on the 2nd of April, some 217 posts ago (I know! I talk a lot) my style of writing has changed. It has become a lot less introspective as I have worked through issues and a lot more confident as I discover things about me that I like. One thing that hasn't changed though is my ability to run at the mouth, and say things without thinking through any consequences, or whether or not comments made in fun would offend or hurt other people. Whilst I know that I am almost never outright rude, I can be blunt to the point of being offensive, or tactless to the point of being an outright idiot.

I forget that I have not met the majority of people I comment on. To me it is like talking to a friend that I have met during my life and this is the way we communicate. I try to ensure that any infliction on my comment - usually humorous, is indicated by way of smiles, or winks, or outright laughs (LOL). But there are times when I can see a comment can be taken a number of ways depending on the slant the reader puts on it. This is something I will endeavour to improve.

If you are someone who has read a comment I have left someone, or a comment I have left you, and you feel uncomfortable by it or feel it was left in an unkind way, please accept my apologies. If you ever feel this way, by anything I write, please email me directly back and let me have it. Life is too short to have regrets, or spend wandering what someone meant by something, and I don't want to be the cause of a regret.

M
xx

Posted by Margaret at 5:36:00 pm | Permalink

Its all kinky and starting to curl up today. I have tried my darndest to keep it straight but at swimming this morning (I refused to get into the pool - I was the spectator today) the humidity started the curls going. So I have a straight-ish pony tail today but it will all be over tonight. Tomorrow morning I will wash my hair and come out curly. At least I have hair so I am not entirely ungrateful that I have curly hair :)

On request I took some photos of my hair. It is with the web-cam so not such great quality but it is proof LOL . Oh and I have a hair straightener but not the patience, ability, or dexterity to get my hair like this. I will leave that up to the experts.

Posted by Margaret at 2:21:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

When I realised that it would be near on impossible to get 10,000 steps in today I made a decision to hit the city about an hour before my appointment began, so that I could go for a walk and at least get some movement in. I caught the train and got out at Wynyard where I discovered a really great 'cheap shop' that will be great to make up Christmas parcels for work. I shall be bringing the committee back next week. Then after about half an hour of solid walking I went into Dymocks to buy a book. I figured I would have some opportunity to read and would take it to read something new. The first thing I did was go to the crime section and have a look where Daniel Hatadi's "Loving the Law" would be. If it was published. Which it is not. Yet. It would have been nestled on the bottom shelf (not a great position!) between Dashiell Hammett's "Maltese Falcon" and Tom Harper's "The Mosaic of Shadows". I will keep looking :)

Then I spotted the book I would buy. A couple of years ago I bought a book called "The Three Miss Margarets" by Lauise Shaffer. Obviously because it had Margaret in the title. (This is a similar method to how I pick Melbourne Cup Horses). Anyway it actually was a great book and today I spotted the followup book "Those Garrison Women" I managed to read half of it already so am happy with my choice.

So on to the spa. It was called Lattouf and is part of a hotel on Philips Street (right in Chiffley square). I had a great day and so many treatments that I got them to highlight them in their booklet so I would remember but suffice to say that every inch of this body has been scrubbed, prodded, massaged, covered in some mudlike substance, subjected to hot and cold water treatments and generally made to feel smooth and silky. I did enjoy this part but had some concerns in regards to treatment of modesty, their idea of relaxing music, and access to the toilets. As they are newish and I am sure very eager to improve the perception of quality to their clients, I voiced my concerns and will be following it up in a letter. That way they can take steps to improve those little areas.

Then I had lunch. At 3.30pm!. As I had not had breakfast I was starving and had to show considerable restraint when allowed to order anything off the hotel menu. I chose the soup of the day and a club sandwich. The sandwich was gigantic and came with a football field worth of fries. I ate half the sandwich and 4 fries. Only 4 *pats myself on back*.

After lunch was the really fun bit for me. I got my hands and feet done. Same mud substance, massage, scrub, and polish. Lovely. And I got my hair done. The guy who is the manager did my hair and I think I am in love. He put a treatment in then blowdried my hair. Straight. I didn't realise how long it was and even as I type this I keep stopping to flick my hair or to touch it as it is so soft and because I can actually run my fingers through my hair. As the owner of curly hair this does not happen to me. I love my hair today and can't believe how much prettier it makes me feel. And as a side note as he was drying my hair I confessed that the last hair cut was self-done using a pair of nail scissors. When you have curly hair the bottom line is not really that important but after drying it straight it really was LOL. So the lovely guy trimmed me up a bit.

The product range is something else that really got to me when I was in there. As the owner of a little bit of knowledge as to the really terrible ingredients that cosmetics and body products contain I was scouring around reading labels to see if their range contain these things. They don't. I was so happy. I am sure their website goes into it but I was really impressed that they cooperate with a native tribe to farm organic ingredients that are then used to make the products.

I will go back. If for nothing else but to get my hair done. But I would like to try their spray on tan :)

Am going out with the family tomorrow morning. Train to city. Ferry to Manly. Anywhere that I can show off my hair. Hope it doesn't rain LOL.

Posted by Margaret at 10:54:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome into the world my new nephew Bradley James who entered heartily weighing 8 lb 10 oz and measuring 54 cms. A big happy boy.

I am a very proud Aunty tonight.





Plans changed for this evening and instead of a movie (which we were both afraid we would fall asleep during) DH and I wandered into the local village and have had a wonderful casual dinner sitting outside in the warm night air, between the video store and the train station. Even the visit of the local stray chocolate labrador was lots of fun. I ended up walking to Central on the way home from work, even though I was carrying the wedding album (which weighs 6kgs) a bunch of flowers and a bottle of champagne. All compliments of my lovely DH. So including the stroll we have taken after dinner I ended up doing 13552 steps today.

AND when I got home I have been informed that I don't need to go to work tomorrow. DH called my boss a few weeks ago and organised a day off for me. He has booked me into a day spa in the city which will go from 11.00am through to 7.00pm. I will post a link when I find out exactly where I am going and what I am doing. I can't believe he did this and am amazed that he thought of something so personal and wonderful. I am indeed a lucky little soul tonight. But part of me knows too - that I deserve it ;)

Posted by Margaret at 10:34:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

We were married 9 years ago

After dating for 10 years

We had a fantastic day - it was a party!

Marriage is hard work

And I am happy to spend every day working on it

I tried on my wedding dress last night with the thought that I was a size 14 at the time of the wedding. I was a size 12. The dress does not do up. It has given me that extra spurt today to get on with the job. I will be in this dress for our next anniversary. LOL.

We have cancelled dinner arrangements (in lieu of having gone to dinner on Tuesday) and will instead be cosying up together at the movies. We are going La Premiere at Hoyts so all I have to do is restrain myself on the cheese platter we are planning to take in with us and only have 1 glass of wine. Lovely :)

Posted by Margaret at 6:00:00 am | Permalink | Comments

The other day I was reading a post from The Food Whore and killing myself laughing that someone as clever and organised as her could forget to pay the cable bill and get cut off. Well hello - guess who did the same thing?? As all my other telecommunications bills are directly taken from my account I just don't open the envelopes anymore. But Broadband don't work that way. And I forget. Then I just forget some more. Then I have to grovel and get the account put back on. Which I will do. Today.

But besides that I had a great day yesterday. I walked 12,295 + steps. (The + is when I went out to dinner and took off the pedometer. I didn't know we would be walking!). I went out to dinner with DH and some of his friends. I bought a new top to wear to dinner. I bought new undies to go under my new top. LOL. I am reminded now of the story "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" Which would not have been nearly as tasty as dinner was.

I started off with Yellow Fin Tuna Tartare (yep you heard it right - RAW) and it was served as a little mound with roasted capers and nashi pear cut up through it. Delicious. Then I had a small grilled barramundi served with a single scallop and rested on a bed of chargrilled capsicum and snow peas. Divine. Said no to bread. Said no to desert. Said Yes Please really nicely to a glass of French Champagne. I ate the pineapple sorbet they presented between courses.

Scales were lower this morning so I have to be happy with that :)

I am back at work this morning so have planned lots of incidental walking to the toilet and the water cooler (2 laps the floor each time) to ensure I move enough. A walk at lunch and the trek to the bus stop this afternoon should see me scraping in at 10,000. I am feeling good (really really tired) but good. Can't wait to catch up with blogs tonight.

And well done to Bri, Sarah, Lesley & Michelle whose names all appear in the top 100 on the standing boards of the Christmas Walking Challenge. Way to go guys.

Posted by Margaret at 9:02:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Alice

Which DISNEY character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

I don't normally do these quizzes but as I have time on my hands, and little or no inclination to get off my tail, I thought it would be fun. And I am not displeased with the result. Now if I could just find that rabbit.....

Posted by Margaret at 2:26:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

This morning saw the scales sitting right where they were last Monday. And whilst the numbers during the week had been both higher and lower, I am not disturbed by the maintenance at all. My clothes are fitting really well, in fact some are getting noticably looser again, so I am sure that all my hard tidying work will show up next week.

Now *in a conspiratal whisper* the owner (Rachel) is here and the agents must be worried about me as there are two of them following her around like lost little puppies. I was hoping I would have a chance to talk to her but I am not sure that will present itself. If not, I will get the other owners number (Mark) off DH and I will call them myself. Ooops, they are calling me.

*15 minutes later* OK so we know it will be at least a couple of years before they are moving back. Owner is so nice, and the agent is just an idiot. He is so tough and nasty with me on the phone but face to face he is acting all nice and concilatory. But it is over, they are happy, I am happy, I can now kick back and enjoy the rest of the day. After I finish these last 4 loads of wash that is :)

It is Day 1 of the Christmas walking challenge and I am off at a cracking pace. It is only 12.00pm and I have covered 7,500 steps already. Most of this is due to the fact that I had to make 3 trips into the village to try to purchase some cut flowers but as luck would have it, by the time I made the 3rd trip they still didn't have any - and I walked the long way! Now the trick will be to keep the momentum up and not just sit on my tail for the rest of the day - otherwise I may still struggle to get to 10,000.

I am going to have a great week this week.


If you are a Sydneysider and you are interested in meeting up for a chat and a meal for a Sydney Bloggers Christmas Dinner, pop over to Mary's site and rsvp to what should be a great night :)

Posted by Margaret at 11:36:00 am | Permalink | Comments

Mummy look - I can do it - all by myself!

No, no, it's alright. You will have plenty of time to scrub off all the sauce we have spread over the fridge, cupboards, floors, ourselves. Then after you bath us it won't take that long to remove the now orange bath ring or scape out the bolognaise that is congealing on the bottom of the bath.

Well, it was your choice to give me this for dinner - I can't talk yet - remember :)

Posted by Margaret at 9:47:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

When I was playing my silly little word game yesterday I thought I had done a really great job coming up with as many words as I did the first time I sat down to do it. I did think I may have missed a couple of words but thought I had it pretty much covered. Then when I thought about it more, more words came to mind. Words that in the first attempt I could not see, but were now so clear that they literally sprang off the page at me. The thing is - the words were there all along. I did not change the rules, nor did I add or remove any of the original information. It was all there for me at the start but I just could not see it.

This had me thinking about the information I have about weight loss. All the information I use today was available to me at the very beginning. Nothing has changed. The basic rule of energy in verses energy out still stands. Burn more than you eat and you should lose weight. Eat more than you burn and you should gain weight. The energy tool I chose to use was ww points as opposed to calories, kilojoules, servings etc but the premise is exactly the same. But I could not see all the information at the start. Or rather I could not take it all in. As time went on and information was absorbed and used, it allowed space for more of the original information to come in and be understood. I think that because I have been doing this steadily now for over 7 months I forget that I have learned the information in stages and that when I speak with people at work, or at home, who are contemplating taking their health seriously enough to want to lose weight I have to be careful that I do not overload them with information, or expect them to 'get it' all at once. And I also have to remember that people allow themselves to learn at different paces so that they are best able to deal with the information they are getting.

I think that I am at a stage where I think I know it all. I think I know how it works so that allows me to think I know how to cheat it. This is not good. I have spent a good part of today just thinking about the original information. Not adding anything, not taking anything away. I need to focus just on this and use the information to my advantage, without changing the rules. I can do this as I am a good student. I have to just follow the rules.


And a big congratulations to Mary who received her Weight Watchers Lifetime Membership today. Reaching your goal in any field of endeavour is a huge achievement, but to reach it in an area where you have stepped outside of your comfort zone and just gone for it with determination and gusto is just fantastic. Well done Mary - looking forward to joining you at those ranks soon :)

Posted by Margaret at 8:42:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

The day has started off slowly for me as I have tended to procrastinate a bit. And as I was cleaning the bathroom I was trying not to think of pancakes so wondered how many words I could make out of the word procrastinate *sigh*

Normal rules apply. Only words with 4 letters or more, and no plurals by sticking a 's' on the end. Even with my own silly games I have to put silly rules.

Acne Acre Action Aspire Cape Caper Care Carer Cart Cast Caste Cater Coast Cope Copse Corpse Cost Crane Crap Crate Crater Crest Nice Nicer Noise Nose Note Once Otter Pace Pain Paint Painter Pair Pane Pant Pare Part Pate Patent Patter Pattern Pent Pest Pier Pine Pint Pitter Point Pointer Pore Port Porter Pose Post Poster Potter Praise Prance Print Printer Prose Race Rain Raise Rant Rate React Reaction Reason Rest Ripe Rite Roan Roar Roast Rope Rose Saint Sane Section Site Sitter Snort Snot Soap Space Spate Spent Spice Spire Spit Spore Sport Spot Spotter Sprite Stain Stair Stare State Station Step Stern Stir Stoic Stone Stop Store Taint Tape Taper Tare Tarp Tart Tear Tent Tern Tier Tint Tire Toast Tone Tore Torte Trace Train Trainer Trait Trance Treason Treat Trip Tripe Trite

I am sure there are more but I am off to pick up the boys then after they are in bed I will work through some more of my list. I am hoping that if I get all the toys and clothes done today then tomorrow will be the general scrub before we go out for a bbq lunch, laundry after lunch and Sunday will be free to shop and indulge a little. Sounds heavenly but I will have to stop thinking about pancakes and procrastination :D

**Edit#1**

I know I should be working on the other list but this one just seems to be more interesting to me. As I was driving to get the boys all I kept thinking about were words that I missed. I promise myself this is the last time LOL

Acorn Case Castrate Coat East Near Neat Nest Open Past Peat Pica Porn Ration Rinse Satiate Scope Scorn Scrap Scrape Since Sire Spar Spare Spartan Spatter Spear Spin Spine Spire Sporran Sprint Star Start Stint Strain Strainer Strip Stripe Taste Test Tit (only 3 letters but suggested by Cat and needs to go in the list LOL) Torn

Thanks for all your suggestions

**Edit#2**

OK, so when DH stumbles in the door and throws out a word that I know I have missed I revisited quickly and am amazed at the words that I could not see before, but now jump out at me. This will be thought about and posted about tomorrow. But here are more words, which brings me to a total of 200 exactly. I am always one for nice round figures ;P

Artist Coarse Coin Coir Coit Cone Corn Cornea Creatin Crone Nope Parasite Resin Rice Santa Satan Satin Teat Tote Trice Trot

And am pleased to say that I did some things that didn't quite make it to the list like completely did the kitchen and sorted out all the DVD's, Video's, and CD's. Also made a start on the laundry which seems to have been mistaken for the local tip. So haven't completely wasted the evening. Time for bed now *yawn*. It has been a very productive day in the end :)

Posted by Margaret at 4:11:00 pm | Permalink | Comments

Today is the beginning of my long long long weekend. I have booked 4 days leave, today through to next Tuesday. We have an inspection on Monday where the new owner (who lives in Singapore and has not yet seen the house) will be coming along to look at her house. I really want to make a good impression so that if they are not coming back as soon as the agent seems to think they are (next July) we would be considered for an extension. That being said all our plans are aimed at buying our first place in July but should the plans not go quite as fast as hoped we may need a few extra months. So my plans are as follows

Do a complete toy audit. Anything suitable for a child under 14 months is being washed, packed and taken to Adelaide for my new neice/nephew (due today but showing no signs of arrival yet) DONE

All toys to be sorted and grouped and put in appropriate rooms

All broken toys to be discretely thrown out (unfortunately/fortunately we don't have many of these) DONE

Any toys that have not been played with regularly to be put aside for DS1 to decide if we can donate to charity (we have had this discussion previously and every year we donate some toys as we know we are lucky enough to have new toys come our way every Christmas)

This will clear up 70% of the untidyness in this house. Then

Go through my wardrobe and remove all clothes that I no longer fit into or want to wear. Throw out any damaged clothes and decide what to do with all other clothes. As most are new or only worn once or twice I will take photos and put them on here. All clothes will be free and I am happy to post them out. That way someone might get some "in-between" wear out of them as they are moving down the sizes. DONE - photos will be done during the week

Unpack suitcases (this is disgraceful - it has been more than 3 weeks since we have been away) and put away all clothes. DONE

Fold up the spare bed and turn it back into a lounge (this should stop me piling more clothes on it) DONE

Hide all birthday and christmas presents already bought and decide who gets what when. DONE

Go through bathroom and throw out all cosmetics that I do not use (No M you will not use them so just chuck them out!!) DONE

Tidy up the wall of boxes so they don't look like a complete dump. DONE

General clean and scrub of house.DONE

That will take care of the inside. Now if I can just find the keys to the back door , doing the outside will be so much easier. But either way the following outside tasks are on my list. FOUND! (In the seat of the push along train - of course LOL)

Mow the lawn (as we have a push mower and a medium lawn this should burn off a few points) DONE

Prune the bottle brush and the front hedge. DONE

Cut down some of the bamboo that is threatening to take over. DONE

Poison the weeds under the deck. DONE

Pull apart the cubby house and reinstall on the desk so the boys can play in it. (does not have to be done before Monday) Measured Up

Get some shade for the deck. (does not have to be done before Monday)

Interspersed with this I would like to go for a walk everyday or if it is too hot to walk outside do the walking DVD. DONE


I have also booked to go and see my Spiritual Healer on Tuesday morning so that should be very interesting.

OK. I now have my list - I will print out and work through it over the next few days. I can see myself being very happy at the end of this exercise :)

Posted by Margaret at 11:11:00 am | Permalink | Comments