Weigh in - Challenge W5
Last week I moaned about the injury I had and conveniently left off any indication of the weight gain that came with the gorging that accompanied the lounge sitting self-pity session. Which I did. But am happy to report that with all the activity I have been doing this last week I have pegged that back to arrive at a net difference of a 100gm gain. This brings me to the topic of todays post - issues.
As much as I am a lot happier and healthier today than I was a little over a year ago (and the 10 years prior to that) I still have some issues with self-esteem and fear that I have to work on. From embarrasement issues of posting a gain after 3 weeks of really good tracking and exercise, from feeling like a failure when I do overeat - even though I know that I am not, to fear of entering a pub by myself. Yep. Even though I had a fantastic night on Friday night with Cath and Mary it did not come without its hassles.
I arrived at the designated destination smack right on time. 6.00pm. It was a pub, a nice local in Newtown called the Botany View Hotel. I knew that there were some stairs I had to go up and the stairs were near the pokies. But. I walked past the pub first and had a quick sneak in the window and I couldn't see any stairs so kept walking. Then I turned back and had another look at through the windows and kept walking. Then I stayed outside. For half an hour. Half an hour of being on the phone with Mark whilst walking up and down King Street. Me saying that I was coming home and Cath won't mind. Him saying turn the heck around and walk through the bloody door. LOL. It has been like that for years. Even when I was going out with Mark when I was 18 and meeting up with him at the pub after work. I would phone ahead and make sure he would meet me outside as I would not go in by myself. So I sms'd Cath to find out if she was already there. And she was. So with a deep breath I said goodbye to Mark and barrelled inside and up the stairs. And then it was great and I had a fabulous time.
What have I learnt from this? I know that weight loss has been a great thing for me and I am a lot healthier and fitter BUT it is not the panacea for everything that is wrong or that I have issues with. These things still need to be worked through. And as long as I understand that, I know I won't use these issues as triggers for putting the weight back on again.
Oh and for the sharp eyed KT, yes I have dyed my hair. A few weeks ago I tackled it with a box of Garnier something or other in a dark chocolate brown. I really like it. And what I also did was comb my hair straight, look in the mirror, grab a pair of really sharp scissors, and cut my bra stap length hair straight across at the shoulders. *Gasp* LOL I have curly hair so the fact that it is probably about as straight as David on Big Brother doesn't really matter. And it will grow back. Eventually ;D
Fitness Challenge Wrap Up - Week 2
5.00am starts are not working for me at all. With Darcy's tonsilitis and all night waking games I am bordering on the edge of severe sleep deprivation. Getting out of bed at 6.00am is difficult enough. So I am switching to an evening workout. I know that working out after eating is not ideal but my only time will be after the boys are in bed and a workout under these conditions is still better than no workout at all. And I am sure when things settle down I will be able to reassess the workout times.
Global Corporate Challenge - Week 1
This has been great fun so far and being able to track where I have been and where I am going next. I have another team of guys we are tracking against and they took us over this morning so the pressure is on to get back on top LOL. For the 4 days to Sunday I have stepped 10,346 / 18,058 / 13,189 / 10,067 for a total of 51,660. Which is an average of 12,915 per day. Not bad but something I can improve on this week.
The destinations have been good too. We started in Australia (Perth) and so far our combined total has walked us through - and remember we don't count water distance - Nias (Teluk Dalam, Gunung Sitoli) and Sri Lanka (Pottuvil, Kalmunai, Batticaloa). Each destination has information relating to the climate, environment, trade and other intersting facts. Wish I could link directly into the site but cannot without a login and password so have linked to Wikipedia if anyone is interested. It has been an eye opener and I am looking forward to seeing where we are going next :D
What I did well last week
I got back into it after a week of not exercising or eating well
I met up with new people (Bron) and did some fun activities
I smiled a lot more and relaxed about things I could not change
What I will do better this week
I will eat more vegetables (in the form of soup or otherwise)
I will eat 3 pieces of fresh fruit a day
I will drink more water
Trackback - 29th May
Points: 14.5
SP: 1.5
Exercise: 40 min walk around Hyde Park, 30 min walk City to Broadway, UPW 47min
As much as I am a lot happier and healthier today than I was a little over a year ago (and the 10 years prior to that) I still have some issues with self-esteem and fear that I have to work on. From embarrasement issues of posting a gain after 3 weeks of really good tracking and exercise, from feeling like a failure when I do overeat - even though I know that I am not, to fear of entering a pub by myself. Yep. Even though I had a fantastic night on Friday night with Cath and Mary it did not come without its hassles.
I arrived at the designated destination smack right on time. 6.00pm. It was a pub, a nice local in Newtown called the Botany View Hotel. I knew that there were some stairs I had to go up and the stairs were near the pokies. But. I walked past the pub first and had a quick sneak in the window and I couldn't see any stairs so kept walking. Then I turned back and had another look at through the windows and kept walking. Then I stayed outside. For half an hour. Half an hour of being on the phone with Mark whilst walking up and down King Street. Me saying that I was coming home and Cath won't mind. Him saying turn the heck around and walk through the bloody door. LOL. It has been like that for years. Even when I was going out with Mark when I was 18 and meeting up with him at the pub after work. I would phone ahead and make sure he would meet me outside as I would not go in by myself. So I sms'd Cath to find out if she was already there. And she was. So with a deep breath I said goodbye to Mark and barrelled inside and up the stairs. And then it was great and I had a fabulous time.
What have I learnt from this? I know that weight loss has been a great thing for me and I am a lot healthier and fitter BUT it is not the panacea for everything that is wrong or that I have issues with. These things still need to be worked through. And as long as I understand that, I know I won't use these issues as triggers for putting the weight back on again.
Oh and for the sharp eyed KT, yes I have dyed my hair. A few weeks ago I tackled it with a box of Garnier something or other in a dark chocolate brown. I really like it. And what I also did was comb my hair straight, look in the mirror, grab a pair of really sharp scissors, and cut my bra stap length hair straight across at the shoulders. *Gasp* LOL I have curly hair so the fact that it is probably about as straight as David on Big Brother doesn't really matter. And it will grow back. Eventually ;D
Fitness Challenge Wrap Up - Week 2
5.00am starts are not working for me at all. With Darcy's tonsilitis and all night waking games I am bordering on the edge of severe sleep deprivation. Getting out of bed at 6.00am is difficult enough. So I am switching to an evening workout. I know that working out after eating is not ideal but my only time will be after the boys are in bed and a workout under these conditions is still better than no workout at all. And I am sure when things settle down I will be able to reassess the workout times.
Global Corporate Challenge - Week 1
This has been great fun so far and being able to track where I have been and where I am going next. I have another team of guys we are tracking against and they took us over this morning so the pressure is on to get back on top LOL. For the 4 days to Sunday I have stepped 10,346 / 18,058 / 13,189 / 10,067 for a total of 51,660. Which is an average of 12,915 per day. Not bad but something I can improve on this week.
The destinations have been good too. We started in Australia (Perth) and so far our combined total has walked us through - and remember we don't count water distance - Nias (Teluk Dalam, Gunung Sitoli) and Sri Lanka (Pottuvil, Kalmunai, Batticaloa). Each destination has information relating to the climate, environment, trade and other intersting facts. Wish I could link directly into the site but cannot without a login and password so have linked to Wikipedia if anyone is interested. It has been an eye opener and I am looking forward to seeing where we are going next :D
What I did well last week
I got back into it after a week of not exercising or eating well
I met up with new people (Bron) and did some fun activities
I smiled a lot more and relaxed about things I could not change
What I will do better this week
I will eat more vegetables (in the form of soup or otherwise)
I will eat 3 pieces of fresh fruit a day
I will drink more water
Trackback - 29th May
Points: 14.5
SP: 1.5
Exercise: 40 min walk around Hyde Park, 30 min walk City to Broadway, UPW 47min
oh, i so understand the whole walking into pubs thing!
I knew you'd dyed your hair! it does look great :)
congrats on the loss, there will be no net gain left next week!
have a great week :)
Posted by
Kt |
May 29, 2006 8:20 pm
I am with you on the walking into pubs thing, I would have done exactly the same thing. Unless of course, I had already been drinking, then I would have stormed in! OOPS - confessions of an ex-p!$$ head!! hehe
As for three pieces of fruit a day, I think that is absolutely drastically excessive. I'm lucky to have one and then I feel I deserve a medal. I'm not a fruit fan unless its grapes which have been smooshed, bubbles added and put into a green bottle with a cork in the top. Hello. My name is Briony and i'm an alcoholic!!
Have a great night.
Bri
Posted by
Briony |
May 29, 2006 8:24 pm
Congrats on the loss and glad you had a great time at the pub, I believe fear is our biggest challenge.
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 29, 2006 8:30 pm
Me too on the pub thing. I think it's from years of being bought up that "nice" girls don't go to the pub alone. Plus you look like a Nigel No Friends in those 2 secs before you spot your mates!
Posted by
Kathryn |
May 29, 2006 8:40 pm
Oh geez Darl, you aren't a failure for admitting to a gain and you know it, you're fabulous, sure you have issues, but who amongst us doesn't - shit, look at me and how I whinge so much on my blog when the scales aren't friendly.
As for the pub thing, the same thing happened to me on Saturday night - knowing that I would be attending a friend's birthday without the boy to be my shadow, I texted another friend beforehand to see what time she would arrive so i could time my arrival for when she would be there. Ended up that she wasn't there once, unforseen problems on her side, so I decided that I could either shrink into the corner and not say anything to anyone or decide that i was just as interesting as anyone else in the room so I started up a conversation with someone I didn't know from the birthday girl's friend group and was quite surprised at how easy it was! :) Doesn't it feel great to jump those hurdles!
Posted by
Ails |
May 29, 2006 9:17 pm
Me, i can't remember the last time i was in a pub. seriously, no idea. those places give me the heebie-geebies.
*shudder*
so you are really brave. and you are so right that weightloss dosn't equal fixing all our problems, in fact that was the whole reason i started my blog in the first place cos i have/had some issues that i need/needed to acknowlege and heal so as to never be in the situation of excess weight again! so well done on doing so well and also acknowleding the tough things! Once again, you are oh so brave!!
and it's still har dot post gains isn't it? don't worry,i am sure next week will be easy to post cos it will be a lovely loss! good luck on the fruit, i love my fruit and i think 3 a day sounds great!
keep on going!
Rae :)
xx
Posted by
Rae |
May 29, 2006 9:59 pm
Hi M!!!!
You are sounding and looking very good! I understand the whole pub thing. But you know what? I now walk into places with a visual in my mind of everyone looking at me thinking, 'Wow, she looks nice', or 'Ooo she looks confident'. . . just positive self affirmations.
Even though it makes me sound completely up myself! To be honest, when I weighed 10kgs more, I probably had every reason to sneak into a pub, or only walk in with a huge group of people.Now, even though I have still a bit to lose, it's the positive affirmations that get you through!
Have a wonderful week! And can you change my link for me to michellehappydays.blogspot.com. Sorry!!! Blogger being a pest!!!!
Love Michelle
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 29, 2006 11:47 pm
I think it is great that you are acknowledging the things you did well last week - I think too many of us concentrate on what we failed at instead of being proud of what we did achieve - good for you ! Plus you have a plan on what to work on achieving this week - you rock !
Have a great week and will talk soon.
Me
Posted by
Me |
May 30, 2006 9:07 am
Looks like you are going to have a great week... lol at the home haircut...
Posted by
Cinders |
May 30, 2006 10:11 am
Hey Dude,
So glad you're back on track. I actually think your not posting a gain is not too big a deal, so long as you can use it to get back on the wagon - and you have ;o).
I like the idea of walking around the world, someone is a very clever cookie for coming up with it. You guys should finish with a multi-cultural meal (and drinks!) to celebrate.
You're very brave for even posting about The Pub Feeling - know it well. Except I call it the Corkscrew Feeling (capital letters to give it the standing it unfortunately deserves). When I was 12, and my brother 8, we went to Seaworld. Brother had a wow of a time and went on the Corkscrew 14 times. I did not and wished I had. The way I felt then has stuck with me and I bear in mind that this is so 12 years later - buggered if I want to add to this tally of non-experiences!
The way I get past it is simple: I act. I find method acting works best, so I channel Strasberg simply take on the behaviours of the person I want to be. It's our actions that make us what we are to the external world. I could wait for my brain to catch-up, or just go ahead and be behave differently. Clearly this cannot be sustained for long periods (have tried for weeks to be Super Exercise Girl), and I don't always feel up to it, but it's good for life's little speedbumps.
Hope you have a great week!
Posted by
CaramelKitKat |
May 30, 2006 10:12 am
*hugs* - posting a gain doesn't make you a failure if anything it makes you human and you are so right that losing weight does not equal issues cleared up and its great that you can acknowledge it. You did well to go into the pub and look at what a wonderful time you had. I have the issue of hating being by myself waiting for others - have even pretended to be on the phone, which of course is a dumb thing to do especially when it rings while you are pretending to talk into it!
Keep it up chick, you inspire me to do better everyday :O)
Posted by
Bex |
May 30, 2006 2:15 pm
Just got to say you're looking rather divine there M. It suits you. My god, walking into pubs by yourself. Whatever will you do next. lol. I remember reading a post you about things you would never have done before. Life be scared to meet up with bloggers and invite strangers into your home. Isn't it amazing what we can do when we stop putting hurdles in our way. It's a whole new world. Have a great week.
Posted by
Lee-Anne |
May 30, 2006 2:36 pm
Just got a minute to catch up with your blog. Love your photo - looking so trim!!
I also love your summary of the week - and your plans on what you are going to do better:)
Posted by
Anne |
May 30, 2006 3:31 pm
it doesn't look like you are on your own with that pub thing.. maybe it has something to do with sneaking into pubs before you where 18.. perhaps you are really worried someone might ask for id????
Plan look great.. good luck with week!!
Posted by
Yummy Mummy |
May 30, 2006 4:39 pm
I am so happy you posted what you did today, its fitting in with so much thats going on inside me today too and it just feels less lonely now. Its not fun and its a challenge every moment but i think its something you can overcome. You are a strong woman, even if sometimes you doubt it, its still something from within that you can draw on when you need it. you have such a positive affect on others, it makes me want to try harder to get ahead to where i want to be. Have a wonderful day lovely :)
Posted by
Cat |
May 30, 2006 8:20 pm
Hey M!
I'm sorry coming to the pub was so traumatic - you SHOULD have asked me to meet you out the front - I even asked Mary to meet ME out the front so I wasn't in there alone.
But, I'm so glad you came. I had a great night, and it was excellent to have a whole bunch of my nearest and dearest in the same room, even if the floor was threatening to give under the pressure ;-)
Anytime you feel you need more practice walking into pubs, give us a bell - I'll wait inside for you.
Have a great week!
xx
Posted by
Cath |
May 30, 2006 10:55 pm
I don't blame you at all for not wanting to walk into the pub by yourself. I get quite scared (even at my age!). I guess it may stem from the days when women weren't ever seen in pubs, except to work in the kitchen or be escorted to the dining room by their gentleman!(bloody hell, how old am I?) Anyway I am glad you overcame your fear and had a great time.
Posted by
Suzy |
May 31, 2006 10:27 am
That lack of confidence, I think, comes from the fact we are actually too hard on ourselves. Because our own expectations are so high, we think other people will see us as too old, too silly, too out of place, whatever. In actual fact most people barely register our presence at all. I think some of my weight was there to give me an excuse to feel out of place.
Posted by
Sue |
May 31, 2006 3:11 pm
Hey M, you've gone awfully quiet. Hope alls well in your world. Hope you have a real super weekend.
Posted by
Lee-Anne |
June 02, 2006 7:09 pm
Weight loss sure doesn't fix everything but it helps you realise that if you can work on your weight, you can work on anything you need fixing in your life. But hey, some things don't need fixing...they're just our quirks and I've got a zillion like those too LOL :-)
Posted by
Mary |
June 03, 2006 7:32 am