Good Friends
To honour Kellee and all of the other pregnant bloggers out there I was going to do this post in dot point, sort of inserting ready made toilet breaks in case you had to dash off to the loo before you could finish reading the post. And if this has not yet happened to you - it will *insert evil chuckle* But I can't think in that structure today so sorry ;D
I have not posted much lately, not because I am disinterested in the blogs or have gone off the rails with my journey (though the recent runs on the board may have begged to differ) but it is because a latent desire to write childrens picture books was suddenly awakened in me and I have immersed myself in this world. I have been writing silly poems, strings of prose about face painting clowns, and children who talk with their thumb in their mouth. I have been visiting sites that specialise in the how & why of this genre and have been reading a great book on the subject (for which I give thankful and private thanks) that has given me both hope and cause for concern that I may ever be able to do this. But if it is only my fear of failing that is stopping me then I realise this is a load of bollocks and I am going to do it anyway. I understand that failing will be part of the process and if I can grow through my failures then my successes are going to be all the more rich for it.
At the same time this was all going on in my head I have been dealing with the very real possibility that we may have to consider moving back to Adelaide. This fills me with both joy and great sadness. More sadness than joy. Even though I would be very happy to be close to Mum & Dad. And I think this is why I have allowed myself to feel sorry for myself and have been not as kind as I should have been in the food department. When I was little, my family and I moved lots of times. Sometimes within the same State but it meant changing schools, changing sporting clubs, making new friends. After the 2nd move I didn't bother making 'best' friends any more. I always had friends and would invite people over, or go and visit their house, and always had plenty of parties to go to, but when we would pack up and move I would not give them another thought. I believe now it was a very early self-protection method. I didn't want to get close to people because I didn't want to feel the hurt. This has been my way for over 20 years. In 2000 when we moved to Sydney DH & I had the best time. No strings, no committments, we just hopped on a train at any time and went everywhere and did everything. It was great. When we got pregnant in 2001 we made our first friends in the antenatel class. They are great friends but I still have been careful not to get too close.
But now, with the bloggers I have met, I have let down my guard. As I have lost weight I have broken down a few of these walls and allowed myself to get close to people. And the thought of having to leave that behind, before the friendships really have a chance to cement is driving me mad. And it may never happen so I should stop worrying about it and get on with something more constructive. Like moving my butt a bit further every day. LOL.
After a pretty dreary start to the day a lovely email from Philippa has really brightened me up. I realise that we all have our ups and downs. I am not the only one who has ever felt like this, is ever going to feel like this. And it is just the way that I deal with this that will see me come out of it quickly or have it drag on. I can be positive and still have down days. So after that I strapped on the Ryka's and headed out for a 45 minute walk in the extremely stong wind and wound my way through all the construction vehicles that dared get in my way in Hyde Park today. As they are setting up for the Australia Day events I can't really be cranky at them, and looking at some of the more muscular and attractive construction crews was a bit of a bonus. So my day is now good. Good points. Good exercise. Good thoughts.
Good friends :D
I have not posted much lately, not because I am disinterested in the blogs or have gone off the rails with my journey (though the recent runs on the board may have begged to differ) but it is because a latent desire to write childrens picture books was suddenly awakened in me and I have immersed myself in this world. I have been writing silly poems, strings of prose about face painting clowns, and children who talk with their thumb in their mouth. I have been visiting sites that specialise in the how & why of this genre and have been reading a great book on the subject (for which I give thankful and private thanks) that has given me both hope and cause for concern that I may ever be able to do this. But if it is only my fear of failing that is stopping me then I realise this is a load of bollocks and I am going to do it anyway. I understand that failing will be part of the process and if I can grow through my failures then my successes are going to be all the more rich for it.
At the same time this was all going on in my head I have been dealing with the very real possibility that we may have to consider moving back to Adelaide. This fills me with both joy and great sadness. More sadness than joy. Even though I would be very happy to be close to Mum & Dad. And I think this is why I have allowed myself to feel sorry for myself and have been not as kind as I should have been in the food department. When I was little, my family and I moved lots of times. Sometimes within the same State but it meant changing schools, changing sporting clubs, making new friends. After the 2nd move I didn't bother making 'best' friends any more. I always had friends and would invite people over, or go and visit their house, and always had plenty of parties to go to, but when we would pack up and move I would not give them another thought. I believe now it was a very early self-protection method. I didn't want to get close to people because I didn't want to feel the hurt. This has been my way for over 20 years. In 2000 when we moved to Sydney DH & I had the best time. No strings, no committments, we just hopped on a train at any time and went everywhere and did everything. It was great. When we got pregnant in 2001 we made our first friends in the antenatel class. They are great friends but I still have been careful not to get too close.
But now, with the bloggers I have met, I have let down my guard. As I have lost weight I have broken down a few of these walls and allowed myself to get close to people. And the thought of having to leave that behind, before the friendships really have a chance to cement is driving me mad. And it may never happen so I should stop worrying about it and get on with something more constructive. Like moving my butt a bit further every day. LOL.
After a pretty dreary start to the day a lovely email from Philippa has really brightened me up. I realise that we all have our ups and downs. I am not the only one who has ever felt like this, is ever going to feel like this. And it is just the way that I deal with this that will see me come out of it quickly or have it drag on. I can be positive and still have down days. So after that I strapped on the Ryka's and headed out for a 45 minute walk in the extremely stong wind and wound my way through all the construction vehicles that dared get in my way in Hyde Park today. As they are setting up for the Australia Day events I can't really be cranky at them, and looking at some of the more muscular and attractive construction crews was a bit of a bonus. So my day is now good. Good points. Good exercise. Good thoughts.
Good friends :D
There are a lot of us pregnant bloggers out there - here's to the repopulation of the country!
Thanks for your lovely messages. Its so lovely to have support from people who I dont even know that well. I really feel like there is a strong community out here and I know what you mean about letting your guard down!
Let me know more details about the lunch. I would love to meet you all, so I will see if I can make it.
Its also funny to hear that you go walking in Hyde Park. I am in the park most days - I may have even seen you without even knowing!
Have a great week!
vx
Posted by
missy vas |
January 24, 2006 3:19 pm
Oh and I LOVE my Ryka's!!
Posted by
missy vas |
January 24, 2006 3:20 pm
Margaret, I'm sure you will be successful at anything to do but if not you are making a beautiful gift for your sons to enjoy (and anyone else who is interested).
The good thing about blogging is that even though we are in different cities, states and countries we are still as close as an email or post. I dont't think we can lose that.
Glad your day has improved and thanks for offering to drag me to lunch. Looking forward to it.
xxxooo
Julie
Posted by
Julie's Journey |
January 24, 2006 3:25 pm
All the emotional lessons you have learned with WW can apply to writing too.
Start little, break it up into small goals, don't expect too much from yourself.
But keep on pushing! Like a muscle, it gets easier with practise.
Posted by
Daniel Hatadi |
January 24, 2006 3:31 pm
I've always thought that you have a special gift with writing!
You are right about getting close through the blogs - just wish I could make your lunch!!
Posted by
Anonymous |
January 24, 2006 4:09 pm
Margaret, Go for it girl! What ever your heart desires then do it! You will not know until you try and I know you will succeed in anything you put your heart to.
Big hugs re the move it will be a really hard decision for you...
CM
Posted by
Chubbymum |
January 24, 2006 7:35 pm
Lotsa hugs to you - speak to you soon.
Me
Posted by
Anonymous |
January 24, 2006 9:41 pm
Back to Adelaide huh? That's a big move, but try not to think of it as going backwards, if it's going to be part of your future the new you will make the most of it. No doubts.
Posted by
CaramelKitKat |
January 24, 2006 11:10 pm
A big hug for you in your down times. At least blog friends are virtually transportable!
Posted by
Sue |
January 25, 2006 7:13 am
I am sure you would be very successful if you wrote childrens' stories (or any stories), so GO FOR IT!
Just hold the thought that you can take US with you wherever you move to. Doesn't that cheer you up??
Posted by
Suzy |
January 25, 2006 7:58 am
I think you would be successful too with the children's stories - even if you decided not to publish them in the end. My Mum made us some books when we were little, and we still have them somewhere - they were fantastic!
Hope things improve for you soon - sounds like things are pretty stressful. xx
Posted by
Kate |
January 25, 2006 8:14 am
Moving and changing schools as a kid is one of those things that change you, I think. It's always so hard, being the new girl.
Good luck with the kid's books. Some of the TAFEs have courses in writing for kids - it's something to think about for the future if you are interested and in the meantime I bet your sons are loving having their own stories.
Posted by
Kathryn |
January 25, 2006 9:04 am
Down days come and go and allow us to indulge in a bit of self pity once in awhile. You do have a cutoff switch tho, that will let you know if you're being greedy and to snap out of it. Sounds like you're already doing it anyway. Take care and keep those creative juices flowing ...
Posted by
Lee-Anne |
January 25, 2006 10:31 am
M you would be so good at writing children's book .. you entertain us all on your blog everyday ....
Remember no matter where you live we are still going to be there for you ...
*hugs*
Posted by
Nancy Bou |
January 25, 2006 1:19 pm
What is with all the pregnant bloggers at the moment. There won't be a dry eye in the house when they are born!
I can understand how you feel about the move. Sometimes you feel like you are moving backwards instead of into the sun.
Think good thoughts...plus i can always visit you in Adelaide!
Posted by
Lucinda |
January 25, 2006 4:51 pm
Hey hey. I went to the loo BEFORE I read your blog (luckily!) but thanks for thinking of me anyway. Kind of.
What a lovely idea. Aren't you clever? I would love to pay to get some copies of your potential books for my little boy(s). I bet they'd be very funny, and probably more interesting for me than "Spot".
I know what you mean about keeping your guard up. Letting it down a bit is just part of this crazy journey you've embarked on over the last year. No-one ever tells you that it's more than just weight loss... it's a whole change of life. I know that you'll make the decisions that are best for you and your family. We will all still be your friends, no matter where you live! Chin up, and lots of positive vibes your way.
Posted by
Kellee |
January 26, 2006 12:44 pm
You are a brilliant writer M, I think you could be a very succesful childrens author. And like the other have said, your kids will have some beautiful keepsakes :o)
Take care
xoxo
Posted by
Unknown |
January 26, 2006 1:11 pm
i think you would make a fantastic writer. I soooo hear you about the moving and the friendship thing...
Posted by
Elisa |
January 26, 2006 4:27 pm
I certainly would still love you wherever you lived. It would just be harder to meet up with you if you moved to Adelaide. I would also love to read anything you wrote for kids, I think you would be great at it. I've thought about that before, just had no idea where to start. Actually i'd like to do some children's music cos most of the stuff around is either very exy (Wiggles, etc) or very poorly done (I won't give any examples in case they sue me!).
Bri
Posted by
Briony |
January 26, 2006 5:17 pm
wow a childrens book i think that is a great idea and you would be great at it. anyways off to put my rykas on and go for a walk
Posted by
Baby Bump Wanted |
January 26, 2006 8:02 pm
WOW... what a little following you have there Margaret!! Wouldn't it be cool to live back is SA?? Houses are cheaper.. schooling in cheaper... not as busy?? I would never live in Melbourne or Sydney.. but I reallt like Adelaide!!
Love kids books.. if they need testing out... send them this way!!
Posted by
Yummy Mummy |
January 27, 2006 4:05 pm
You are a lovely Virgo, trying to be a wonderful partner to your guy, a fantasic mother, a caring daughter, and a professional career woman, and find ways to keep your growing friendships. Maybe when you were a little child, you found it hard to open to the depths as much as your gentle heart sort, but now you have found your strength. Nothing will stop you from being the strong loving woman you have become. You try to be so responsible and caring, but it is a bit like that ode to the new virgo song that gene simmons put together: God of thunder. Virgos seem sweet and kind, but when they open to the strenth fo Vulcan, they find amazing creative potential, and great strength to be able to follow their heartfelt true self, whether it be keeping friendships, or staying strong for the family, or being prepared to say it like it is.
Hope you find a resolution to the moving thing, but just reminding you what a great job you do.
Posted by
Anonymous |
January 27, 2006 9:46 pm
I don't know what happened to my comment but I did comment!
I think you are amazing M and I believe that you will be a great Children's Writer. We are all afraid of failing but if I know one thing, once you put your mind to do something, you can achieve great things!
And hey, have you ever heard of long distance relationships? They can work you know :-)
Posted by
Mary |
January 29, 2006 9:19 am