Honesty
No one can take this journey for me. I have to do it myself. And to do it properly I have to be honest. Honest in my actions and honest in my feelings. I don't like blogging at night. It is too easy for me to put down the points for the day, taking into consideration what I am about to have for dinner. Then completely stuff it up by having a large bag of Doritos and a jar of salsa. Then not going back and changing my journal. That is not being honest. I have so many feelings during one day and I am the sort of person who will choose the most positive and happy feelings to put in my journal. These feelings are true, but I have other feelings and by ignoring them I am not being honest.
I miss blogging during the day. It is during my waking, and working hours, that I have the most thoughts and feelings and cravings and as I can no longer turn to the blogs for that instant hit of information and positive affirmation I find that I am slipping - just a little. I have not exercised properly this week. I have a niggle in my lower back that has me angry and frustrated and sore. My solution - do nothing!! Well until today anyway. In a fit of anger at myself, at me for allowing self-pity to creep up and bite my positivity in the tail I went and joined the gym. And not only that, I made sure I had my gear with me so got on the treadmill and went for a good steady walk, with a few jogs thrown in for good measure. I even booked my fitness assessment for next Monday at 12.00pm. After that I felt so much better. My back doesn't hurt as much, I am not as peckish, and I feel better about myself.
On the way home, at the shopping centre before I picked up the boys, I went into a bookstore. I was specifically looking for "Confessions of a Reformed Dieter" by A.J. Rochester and in the few pages I have read already I think it was a great choice, but whilst I was hunting through the shelves looking for it I came across "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L Hay. I already have some of her affirmation cards but when I picked up the book and randomly opened it, it opened to a page that just was beyond coincidental. I bought the book. I will finish off by sharing what page it opened up to.
Thank you for all your great shopping suggestions. I may take some of you up on your offer so watch this space:)
Points FTD: 21
Sugar Points: 3
Points Left FTW: 13
I miss blogging during the day. It is during my waking, and working hours, that I have the most thoughts and feelings and cravings and as I can no longer turn to the blogs for that instant hit of information and positive affirmation I find that I am slipping - just a little. I have not exercised properly this week. I have a niggle in my lower back that has me angry and frustrated and sore. My solution - do nothing!! Well until today anyway. In a fit of anger at myself, at me for allowing self-pity to creep up and bite my positivity in the tail I went and joined the gym. And not only that, I made sure I had my gear with me so got on the treadmill and went for a good steady walk, with a few jogs thrown in for good measure. I even booked my fitness assessment for next Monday at 12.00pm. After that I felt so much better. My back doesn't hurt as much, I am not as peckish, and I feel better about myself.
On the way home, at the shopping centre before I picked up the boys, I went into a bookstore. I was specifically looking for "Confessions of a Reformed Dieter" by A.J. Rochester and in the few pages I have read already I think it was a great choice, but whilst I was hunting through the shelves looking for it I came across "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L Hay. I already have some of her affirmation cards but when I picked up the book and randomly opened it, it opened to a page that just was beyond coincidental. I bought the book. I will finish off by sharing what page it opened up to.
Support GroupsHow good is that!
The new social norm is "support groups." There are support groups for any problem that we, as individuals, may have. We have self-help groups, personal growth groups, spiritual groups, and 12-step programs. These support groups are much more beneficial than sitting at home and whining. We learn we do not have to struggle by ourselves, and we do not have to stay stuck in our patterns. We can reach out to a group of people with the same issues, and we can work together to find positive solutions. We care for and support each other as we learn to leave the pain of the past behind. We do not sit in self-pity, bemoaning our past and playing "Ain't It Awful." We find ways to forgive and get on with our lives. We support each other, and we heal together.
There is help wherever we turn.
Louise L. Hay
Thank you for all your great shopping suggestions. I may take some of you up on your offer so watch this space:)
Points FTD: 21
Sugar Points: 3
Points Left FTW: 13
Exercise: 20 min treadmill at the gym (4 min walk 1 min jog x 4!!!) Walk to Central. Total of 10,981 steps
TIAGF: The ability to buy a book whenever I want
I agree with having lots of feelings in one day and it interesting to see what extract we all choose for the day, good and bad. I miss blogging during the day too.
WELL DONE on joining the gym!! That's great to hear and I hope it helps with the motivation. I'm sure it will! And keep an eye on that back.
What a great thing to happen at the bookshop too :-) It was meant to be that you found a little spark again.
What's this about shopping?? I think I missed a post. Will go back now.
I hope you have a great weekend and feel much better. I want to send you some {{{HUGS}}} just coz I think you need some gorgeous.
Posted by
Mary |
August 12, 2005 8:27 pm
I was thinking... is the reason you aren't doing it at work because the boss is watching the internet traffic? You can still write it in Microsoft word what you are thinking during the day and then save it on disk or usb and when you get home put it in your diary and send. That way you can still write it in the day and when you are feeling up to it and that way you are happy and keep your boss happy too.
I totally understand aye... I don't have internet access at my new job during the day and it is driving me insane as I am an email aholic and now I can't even do that during the day it is driving me insane.
Have a good night
Chubbymum
Posted by
Anonymous |
August 12, 2005 9:22 pm
you're a star, enjoy your gym membership . support really is crucial isnt it? i dont have much in person support so really do rely on all the lovely internet support from you fabulous creatures.
way to run on that treadmill too, well done you :)
Posted by
Cat |
August 12, 2005 10:23 pm
"There is help wherever we turn" - that is the best and it is something I really find valuable about my blogging friends. Well done M on being honest, getting over your self pity and especially running on the treadmill. Your wedding challenge is sounding very achievable. Go M.
lb
Posted by
Learning Leaders |
August 12, 2005 10:34 pm
Congrats on joining the gym. I'm sure you'll find it easier to get motivated to exercise now.
The Reformed Dieter book is a great read. Funny as well as inspiratonal, and honest which is something you don't always get in diet books.
Posted by
Kathryn |
August 13, 2005 12:56 am
Well done on joining the gym. I think that we all look forward to the support we receive from our blogging friends - I know that I wouldn't be as far along my journey as I am without this support group. It is also difficult when you have lost as much weight as you have to stay motivated because everyone is paying you compliments, you are wearing clothes you haven't fitted into for ages, you are feeling so good about yourself and while you aren't at goal yet, you know that it won't be long before you are. I don't want to call it complacency because I think that is a harsh word to use, but things do slip a little because we are human and happy with how things are. It is good that you are honest with what has happened as I would doubt that anyone reading won't be able to identify with what you said - we have all been guilty of it. I think CM has a great idea about typing it in word and then just posting it in Blogger at night - I type mine up in word all the time because I am tired of blogger losing a post !!! Take care and have a great weekend - with an assessment to look forward to on Monday - go M !!!
Me
Posted by
Me |
August 13, 2005 8:17 am
Fab news about the gym, M! It really does help!
You're doing well and just putting your thoughts onto "paper" like that must be liberating and helpful. You're just absolutely right about the support, for me that's what the internet is all about. I can't believe how strong and happy comments on my blog make me feel - even if I didn't want to lose any weight, I'd still yearn for that support! In a way, we're lucky: in this journey, we come across lovely, interesting people we might have otherwise never met. That's a blessing!
Posted by
Mx |
August 13, 2005 9:45 am
I hear you! I've always bagged affirmations as touchy feely crap, but will now gladly say that I was wrong and that, for me, they work. It doesn't even have to be a sussinct sentence that makes me think, these blogs offer more positivity than I could hope to get in my normal, non weight loss focussed life. In that I include the times people have to get online and confess that they ar not always a bubbling ball of positivity because that act alone is in fact a positive one.
This might sound selfish, but I need you to succeed!! And I wouldn't keep checking back in on someone I didn't think was serious. Yes, you're the only one who can do this, but we're all here for you!!
Posted by
CaramelKitKat |
August 13, 2005 10:23 am
I know what you mean about niggly back pains putting you off ... how many times have I used that as an excuse? But you generally do feel better once you've exercised (I know I do!)
I know what you mean about blogging during the day too. I should really blog more but I've been busy at work and I think the boss knows I've been screwing around doing non-work related stuff (like wedding research) so I feel guilty about it.
Anyway, I should go and do my 10,000 steps! Take care
Posted by
Sarah |
August 13, 2005 11:51 am
I bought an A J Rochester book yesterday too, "The lazy girl's guide to losing weight and getting fit". I've only read a chapter or so, but already i'm connecting with her in so many ways. I look forward to hearing what you think about the first book as I would like to buy that one too.
Good work joining the gym, I hope it goes well on Monday.
Have a great weekend,
Bri
Posted by
Briony |
August 13, 2005 12:02 pm
Well done on joining the gym! thats great M! I really need to read Ajs book, I've only ever hheard good things, hope u r having a great wknd!
Posted by
Kt |
August 13, 2005 4:55 pm
You know what? I miss you blogging during the day too!! I usually am still up to catch your night time post, and then all the next day I have to wait for you to write someting more. *Junkie* Lol. :-)
I love those Louise Hay things. I have a pack of her affirmation cards that I bought in Sydney a few years ago and I get them out from time to time - always one stands out to me and I think 'thats just what i needed to hear right now'.
Hope your weekend has been going well!
Posted by
Kate |
August 13, 2005 5:55 pm
You know what? I miss you blogging during the day too!! I usually am still up to catch your night time post, and then all the next day I have to wait for you to write someting more. *Junkie* Lol. :-)
I love those Louise Hay things. I have a pack of her affirmation cards that I bought in Sydney a few years ago and I get them out from time to time - always one stands out to me and I think 'thats just what i needed to hear right now'.
Hope your weekend has been going well!
Posted by
Kate |
August 13, 2005 5:55 pm
I was going to say to write stuff down in a notebook during the day instead of waiting till you get home!
I also am missing you not posting during the day as my computer is normally off in the evenings:)
Good on you for joining the gym!
Posted by
Leighanne |
August 14, 2005 9:49 am
Sorry your back is niggly and hope it is much better now. Also sorry you can't blog when you want to or need to. Not fair!
I hve only read part of AJ's book on her website, but it was great. I must get it.
Support groups - we have a wonderful one, don't we?!
Posted by
Suzy |
August 14, 2005 3:29 pm
I LOVE that book by AJ, she is just hilarious - and very inspiring
Posted by
Anonymous |
August 16, 2005 10:46 am