Thunder and Lightening
When I was growing up I only had 2 real fears. Men with bushy beards and moustaches, and thunderstorms. I clearly remember squashing myself under the lower of the bunkbeds during a storm and staying put in the corner until I came out when it was finished, or I was pulled out after I had fallen asleep and put to bed. When I had children I was determined that I would not push my fear on to them, and made sure that they would not have the same fear. So whenever there has been a thunderstorm in the last 3 years the whole family (and the dog when he was with us) would go and stand on the porch, or look out the back window and talk about the beauty of the storm, and the magnificent display of sound and light, and make up stories about what is causing it all. Consequently neither of my sons (or the dog) show any fear when there is a storm. And funnily enough, now neither do I. By facing my fears so that others don't have to share them, I actually addressed it for me and opened myself up to accepting that I didn't need to have that fear - and I let it go.
This journey has also been about facing fears. I was never afraid to put on weight. Never even thought about it. There was never any thought like "Oh when I weigh 100kgs I am going to be so happy" or "When I am a size 20 then I will be able to go skiing" etc. But once I became that size the fear of losing weight starting to come into it. Why should I be scared to lose weight? For me it was that I had put so many expectations on what my life would be like if I did lose the weight. Mainly it was "If I am skinny I would have no more back problems" But what if I did. I was pinning the cure for my problem on the dream of being 'skinny'. Now that the back pain is not there, that has been removed for me as a barrier to losing the weight. Through reading books, weight and self-help type magazines, listening to mentors and people who have gone through this before me I have come to the realisation that the only thing I am afraid of is the unknown. Logically I now understand and accept that when I get to my goal weight the things that bother me now are still going to bother me then. They are not going to miraculously disappear along with buckets of my fat. I am still going to have to remind DH to take out the garbage. I am still going to have to make the money stretch from pay to pay. I am still going to have to clean the house regularly. Myself. So by accepting these things I am no longer afraid to lose the weight. It is as simple as that. I embrace this change. Still have to work on the whole hairy face thing though. Don't think I am scared of it anymore but still not into it. ;)
This journey has also been about facing fears. I was never afraid to put on weight. Never even thought about it. There was never any thought like "Oh when I weigh 100kgs I am going to be so happy" or "When I am a size 20 then I will be able to go skiing" etc. But once I became that size the fear of losing weight starting to come into it. Why should I be scared to lose weight? For me it was that I had put so many expectations on what my life would be like if I did lose the weight. Mainly it was "If I am skinny I would have no more back problems" But what if I did. I was pinning the cure for my problem on the dream of being 'skinny'. Now that the back pain is not there, that has been removed for me as a barrier to losing the weight. Through reading books, weight and self-help type magazines, listening to mentors and people who have gone through this before me I have come to the realisation that the only thing I am afraid of is the unknown. Logically I now understand and accept that when I get to my goal weight the things that bother me now are still going to bother me then. They are not going to miraculously disappear along with buckets of my fat. I am still going to have to remind DH to take out the garbage. I am still going to have to make the money stretch from pay to pay. I am still going to have to clean the house regularly. Myself. So by accepting these things I am no longer afraid to lose the weight. It is as simple as that. I embrace this change. Still have to work on the whole hairy face thing though. Don't think I am scared of it anymore but still not into it. ;)
Points FTD: 19
Sugar Points: 5
Points Left FTW: 61.5
Exercise: Walk to Central (in the rain).
Great thoughts there - I think we all were the same and not afraid to gain weight - yet something holds us back at times about losing weight. And you are right - losing weight does not solve all our problems!
Mmmmm my fear is earthquakes!
Posted by
Anonymous |
July 01, 2005 9:31 am
What a fantastic post. One of my LJ friends made a comment in her journal that said
"i am self sabotaging in order to save something i don't even want because its all i know."
and it stopped me in my tracks. It's the unknown that is so scary.. and I am so inspired by your attitude to your journey. So simple and sensible. You rock my socks!
Oh and my fear is to lose my weight and become such a freakin STUNNER that I won't be able to walk down the street without being stopped by awe-struck passers by.
True! ;p
hahah
Posted by
Anonymous |
July 01, 2005 9:42 am
Well gaining weight is easy and requires no real effort on our part. Just to be lazy.
I love this post! I like how you relate your WW journey to other parts of your life and what a balance. That's my favourite word right now *balance*. You are so right about facing your fears and they do take effort but once you've faced them, there's no turning back. Well done on acknowledging your own and doing something so positive about them.
LOL Judes is a scream!
BTW I failed, I can't curb my blogging but I have cut back more than I thought I could.
Have a great end to the week gorgeous!
Posted by
Mary |
July 01, 2005 10:16 am
You are very brave to face your fears and make sure your children don't have them.
You are very clever to be able to express your feelings so well. (You should start writing a book THIS MINUTE!!!!)
This was a great post to read and so true. You have the right attitude to lose weight and keep it off once it has gone.
Losing weight doesn't change the problems of everyday life but the side effect of getting healthy in the process helps.
Have a wonderful and happy weekend!
Posted by
Suzy |
July 01, 2005 11:05 am
LOL!! - My nan (god bless her) when she was alive and we were little, when there was an electrical storm she would shut all the blinds, close all the doors and find the darkest place in the house. We would huddle there until the storm would pass. I laugh about this all the time. It's one of my most fondest memories of my nan from the early days. I love storms now though. I lay in bed at night with the blinds open so I can watch the display nature puts on. Have a great weekend. XX
Posted by
Anonymous |
July 01, 2005 11:48 am
Oi! Where's the castle ;-)
Posted by
Mary |
July 01, 2005 12:19 pm
Wow, Marg, another insightful post from you. I envy your talent for self-analysis. Have a great weekend with your lovely family.
Posted by
Sue |
July 01, 2005 12:24 pm
Great post. I love thunder and lightening... but only if someone else is home!
Posted by
Kate |
July 01, 2005 6:17 pm
well said Margaret, i think the same weighty fears are in in a lot of us, the what might happen but really its nothing bad right :) hhave a great weeekend
Posted by
Cat |
July 01, 2005 7:45 pm
That post was a great read M! I love how you faced your fears with the storms.
I very much agree with weight loss being a journey of facing fears, the thought of being a healthy weight scares me at the moment yet putting on weight didn't! strange how the mind works!
Posted by
Kt |
July 01, 2005 7:51 pm
Very true, you really hit the nail on the head there. Facing fears is really important whatever they are but I didn't really think I was that scared of loosing weight until recently and that was what was really holding me back. Great post.
I dont ming thunder now but my mum hates it and used to scare the life out of us kids with her fear of it.!!
Have a great weekend.
Posted by
Melissa |
July 01, 2005 10:17 pm
I love reading your insightful and thought provoking posts. It's people like you who help me on in this journey! Congrats on your great loss this week just gone too. XD
Posted by
Anonymous |
July 02, 2005 12:18 am
I just wanted to come say hi back to you. I really really liked this post, as I really have been down this same path. I never really thought of my goals in terms of size, or at this weight I will do this again...It's just sort of been about prolonging my life. I was so sick, and my weight really impeded my recovery. I had neuro. surgery and my weight was a big issue after. Now that I'm having seizures again I accept that my weight wasn't the cause. But I have to say I am bouncing back a lot faster this time. I hope you don't mind if I keep coming back. I really liked this blog! And Australia is on my list of places I must go, as I have a huge collection of koala bears started as a child. :-)
Posted by
CheekyMoo |
July 02, 2005 9:25 am
Hi there - thanks for the comment - missed you too as well ! It's great to be home - have just updated my journal and will be catching up on everyone else's later this weekend. Have a great weekend and take care !
Me
Posted by
Me |
July 02, 2005 9:43 am