Linings
If I had to find a silver lining in my gaining weight (and that's a tough one - maybe it's bronze) it would be that I gained weight evenly all over with very little on my face. But at the same time that this was a blessing I think it comes cloaked in all sorts of dangers which I am already facing on my way down the scale. People think they are being so kind, so "helpful" when they give you compliments. Unfortunately most compliments come in a backhanded sort of way that I think can be the undoing of most peoples attempts at weight loss. Things like "You are doing so well, it won't matter if you have one slice of cake" or "You don't want to lose too much weight - your face will get gaunt", or my favourite "You know you look nice just the way you are - why do you want to change?" These comments normally come from people I know very well, the very people that I would think should be more in tune to how I am feeling and what I want to do. I have only lost 4.5kgs. I have another 23kgs to go to goal. I don't understand why people do this. I think I am lucky that at the moment there are 6 out of the 8 ladies at my work exercising, watching what they eat, and supporting each other. The other 2 are already at ideal body weights. And at home, my DH has lost 20kgs in the last 16 weeks so he is more than supportive of anything I do. But it is the extended family and friends group that put these comments out. Are they jealous? Are they afraid that my change will impact on them? Does my action show up their inaction? Or do they truely think it is a compliment? All I know is that I am doing this for the right reasons. I am doing this for me. Not for anyone else. ME. And I know best- just ask my husband ;). So I am going to continue to count my points (becoming quite the expert now), I am going to continue my exercise, and I am going to keep delving into the funny little world that is mine.
Thank you to everyone who posted a comment yesterday, or sent me an email. I am overwhelmed by the support and being quite the emotional girl, have had to dig into the Kleenex this morning. I love the no b*s support. Thank you.
Thank you to everyone who posted a comment yesterday, or sent me an email. I am overwhelmed by the support and being quite the emotional girl, have had to dig into the Kleenex this morning. I love the no b*s support. Thank you.
Just don't listen to the extended family - you are not doing it for them anyway!
My sister(amanda) gets stroppy about me losing weight, I am the eldest - and was the fat one for ages, Our younger sister(jen) was chubby too, now Jen is a size 8, And i am losing and getting comments at family gatherings along with Jen, and amanda is up in the 130's .
I have heard the same things with friends too, some people feel more comfortable with being the skinnier one, and get quite put out when they become the fat one!
I just do what I wanna do and don't really worry about the others!
Posted by
Leighanne |
May 04, 2005 9:34 am
Most people DON'T THINK or don't understand when they give those sort of comments. I did not understand a lot about eating right and exercising until I started Weight Watchers. Seriously. And for the snide comments, that just reflects what the person is insecure about in themselves. That's what I reckon.
It's great that you have a partner who understands. My partner is good like that too.
Thanks for reminding me me not listen to naive comments as well!
Posted by
Mary |
May 04, 2005 10:17 am
I have a sister who constantly knocks the fact that I go to the gym every morning, and that I am starting to enter fun runs, and that I try to watch what I eat.
She is short, very overweight and eats so much crap food it's amazing that she's not bigger than she already is.
Just ignore all the people who want to sabotage your goals, it's your life, not theirs. (Ooh that sounds a bit feisty doesn't it!!)
Posted by
Jaykay |
May 04, 2005 10:47 am
Carry on with what you are doing and the way you are doing it - this journey has to be what YOU want. Try not to listen to them when they make the snide remarks and concentrate on why you started this journey in the first place.
You, like me, are so fortunate to have a supportive husband - I give thanks each day for him.
Take care and have a great week !
L
Posted by
Me |
May 04, 2005 12:46 pm
Hi M
Please would you let me have your e-mail address so I can tell you about the diet coke chicken and the change in my page.
Thanks and have a great day 1
L
Posted by
Me |
May 04, 2005 12:57 pm
Don't forget that this journey is for you. You are doing this for you, and you are doing a fantastic job, gain or not. You are going to get there!
Isn't it funny how people comment on your weightloss - it's hard to know how to take things sometimes. My mother in law told me today that my father in law commented that he noticed my bum looked a bit smaller when he was walking behind me on the weekend. It's a nice thing to say, but I still felt wierd about it, like.. it must have been so huge before and why was he looking at my ass anyway?! Lol.
Posted by
Kate |
May 04, 2005 5:37 pm
I get lots of the 'you won't lose anymoe will you?' I find it strange because it's not like 5 more kilos would make me look anorexic. I worked out afer a while that it's far more to do with them than me.
Posted by
a mummy losing it |
May 04, 2005 7:14 pm
its my experience that comments made by friends you havent had for more than 3-5 years and extended family (cousins etc) are generally of the jealous type, 'your action showing in their inaction' as you said... not much we can do about it except smile and nod. if you know they are being passive agressive about it, tell them to stop being a bunch of jerk offs... with a big smile on your face of course :D
Posted by
Cat |
May 04, 2005 9:38 pm
Mmm I have found some people are really strange about my weight loss. My friend acts like I'm going to be border line anorexic if I try and lose any more. Lol she is about a size 8 wheras I'm about 14-16 with a roll around the middle! I also find it's like poeple are waiting for me break to break out and gain the weight back again. I haven't struggled for 2 years to do that! Don't worry about them, do it for YOU!
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 05, 2005 6:15 am
you know, sometimes i think people are affraid to see you (or those losing weight in general) change. just them changing. i do think in the case of some its jealousy. some might just not want the likes of us to suceed (because it will show that they are not doing anything about the issues they've been complaining about)... but some are just affraid. that maybe your character/behavior would change or something.
just my own 2 cents you didn't need! ;op
Posted by
InsaneMind |
May 06, 2005 11:30 pm
This is my favourite quote from your post..
Does my action show up their inaction?
I love it, and it's true. It really hits the nail on the head - don't you think?
Remember that one when they try and sabotage you. The fact that you are making this healthy lifestyle choice really highlights that they aren't doing anything themselves.
That quote really inspired me. Next time someone does that to me, i'll say "no thanks" but in my head i'll think "neneneneneh, I'm better than yoooooou, you're just jealous cos I'm a supermodel and you're eating junk!"
hahahhaahh! kidding.. i'm such a dag.
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 07, 2005 8:04 am