Holding it together
This will be the first, and last time I post three times in one day. My last post which mentions me identifying triggers and learning to cope with them seems a little prophetic now. When I came home from work today my Mum rang to say that my Dad has been diagnosed with cancer. It is a very sudden thing and he goes in for the operation to remove the cancer on Monday. It has been advised that it is an encapsulated cancer in rather a delicate part of the body (the butt to be precise) so should be a straightforward removal and possibly no need for chemo afterwards if, when digging it out, they find it has not spread. So that is a very good piece of news for a very bad piece of news.
It's a funny thing when you get a piece of news like that, when it has never happened before. How do you react? I can't go to pieces because I have a family of my own that I still need to look after. Nothing that I do will change the fact that my Dad will have to go through this. Therefore eating recklessly will not only not help him, but it definitely will not help me. That being said I have been drawn towards food tonight. I have eaten 1 pt worth of nuts, 1 pt worth of ww cookies, and 1 pt of a milky way bar. I could keep eating. I am now at my daily limit of 22 pts but I think I may still put in a ww choc icecream and go over 1.5pts. I will eat less tomorrow. I rang my Dad to make sure I was in the will. He said there wasn't much to give me. I said I didn't want it for another 20 plus years. He said he wasn't ready to give it to me till then. I think we will be OK. I won't mention this again but at least I have identified it as an issue to myself, to watch for, and to recognise that eating well would be the best thing I could do for all of us at this time.
It's a funny thing when you get a piece of news like that, when it has never happened before. How do you react? I can't go to pieces because I have a family of my own that I still need to look after. Nothing that I do will change the fact that my Dad will have to go through this. Therefore eating recklessly will not only not help him, but it definitely will not help me. That being said I have been drawn towards food tonight. I have eaten 1 pt worth of nuts, 1 pt worth of ww cookies, and 1 pt of a milky way bar. I could keep eating. I am now at my daily limit of 22 pts but I think I may still put in a ww choc icecream and go over 1.5pts. I will eat less tomorrow. I rang my Dad to make sure I was in the will. He said there wasn't much to give me. I said I didn't want it for another 20 plus years. He said he wasn't ready to give it to me till then. I think we will be OK. I won't mention this again but at least I have identified it as an issue to myself, to watch for, and to recognise that eating well would be the best thing I could do for all of us at this time.
Im so sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope the operation goes well on Monday.
Thinking of you,
Kelli xoxo
Posted by
Unknown |
May 27, 2005 10:07 pm
sorry to hear about your Dad Margaret and hope the outcome of the operation is positive. *knuffels*
Posted by
Cat |
May 27, 2005 10:22 pm
Know that my thoughts are with you.
Posted by
Sue |
May 28, 2005 5:53 am
Thoughts are with you and your dad! Hope all goes well.
Have just read your Friday journals and I know what you mean about your journals being discovered by people who may be mentioned in them! I find it a little hard sometimes on how much to write and tend to be a bit conservative in what I put in, when sometimes you just want to spill it all.....
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 28, 2005 6:28 am
Sorry to hear about your Dad, but as you said - a positive spin on a bad piece on news. I hope that it is as they suspected and fully encapsulated.
Big hugs and you are doing really well to stay on track. What you said is so true - no matter what the emotional trigger, it just aint going to help things by eating.
Posted by
Kate |
May 28, 2005 6:55 am
Gosh M, I am so sorry to hear this. You seem to have a good head about it but I'll give you a big virtual {{hug}} anyway! It's never easy when it is your family, especially your Dad. I had to go through it with an ex boyfriend. Keep being good to yourself. Thinking of you.
Posted by
Mary |
May 28, 2005 8:56 am
Hi Margaret. I've just read all 3 posts as well, and wanted to say firstly that I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and hope everything works out for the best. Secondly, the pole dancing sounds very aaah, interesting, and I'm looking forward to hearing more about it. And thirdly, bet that lady on the bus wouldn't have been able to swirl your skirt around her stomach!
Posted by
Emily Campbell - Independent Stampin' Up!® Demonstrator |
May 28, 2005 12:17 pm
Oh no Margaret I am so sorry to hear this. Your truly amazing with your strength and will you know - it really does amaze me. I hope everything will be okay
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 28, 2005 12:39 pm
I'm really sorry to hear that M. I went through the same thing with my mum a few years back & she is fit & healthy today. Even though it is bad new, Its very promising to hear that the removal is straightforward. Make sure you take care of yourself too.
Proud of ya for not giving into emotional eating!
Kt :)
Posted by
Kt |
May 28, 2005 1:20 pm
Hi Margaret, have just read your blog, sorry to hear about your dad hope everything works out for the best, my thoughts are with you.
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 28, 2005 1:32 pm
Ditto for me.. the best of luck with your Dad's operation. Let us know how it goes.
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 28, 2005 2:37 pm
As everyone else has said - so sorry to hear about your Dad - hope it all goes well on Monday. I too have wondered if anyone would come across my journal and then thought, it at the time, that was how I felt so be it and if they don;t like it they don't have to read it. This is about me and a tool for me to get this bloody weight off and keep it off once and for all and if someone gets offend by something I have written - I'm sorry but so sad too bad. I think that this wouldn't work if you felt you had to watch everything that you wrote down.
Take care and you and your family are in my thoughts !
Me
Posted by
Me |
May 28, 2005 3:38 pm
*hugs* for you.
Fingers crossed that your dad's operation goes well.
Posted by
Jaykay |
May 28, 2005 6:52 pm
Sorry to hear about your dad - will be thinking of you, hoping things go well
*hugs*
Leighanne
Posted by
Leighanne |
May 29, 2005 10:40 am
I am so sorry to hear about your dad and the C word. I so know what you are going through. I was 21 when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He went to the Dentist as he thought he had a sore throat and ended up being throat and jaw cancer. They told my dad that he had 6 months to live and he last 10 years and didn't even die of cancer. All you can do is be there for him.. {{{biggg hugs}}}
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 29, 2005 6:16 pm
Hey there Margaret,I am truly sorry to hear that your father has been diagnosed with cancer. I know you are a strong person, but it is such a big blow and you need to know that you are allowed a little self indulgent time to come to terms with it and express the feelings you will no doubt be going through. I really hope your Dad can keep his spirits up and get through this 'minor setback' to live well beyond those 20 years!
Posted by
Cath |
May 30, 2005 4:58 pm
Hiya lovely.
Such bad news for you, but as you said, some good news there too.. nice to balance it out.
It's good that you can "own"your triggers and recognise that eating well is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family right now..
I was touched when i read what you wrote about the will. I even cracked a smile..
DOn't feel that you can't talk about this on your journal if you need to.. we are all super supportive and will be a good substitute for food!
Posted by
Anonymous |
June 04, 2005 7:20 am