A case of the grumps
There are some days I wake up and I wish that I were in a different place. A different world. A different mind-space. Then, most days, I shake myself off and bounce back into the happy person I am most of the time. Today it has been difficult to do that. The last couple of days I have let little things get to me and it has culminated in this overbearing sadness that is threatening to overwhelm me. And I am fighting it. And I am winning. The old me would have given in. The old me would have found perceived solace by gorging on every imagineable fat laden food that could be found within a 10 suburb radius (have car will travel ;)) The old me would have wallowed in self pity (and I am not doing that now!!) and shunned any form of exercise. The old me would have allowed this to continue with unabated speed until I crashed headlong into a suitably strong enough barrier to knock some sense into me.
The new me is not doing that. The new me has stuck to my points, in fact I have eaten far fewer points than I should and I am trying to catch up. The new me still went for a walk - Ok I think I scared a few people with my scowly grumpy face - but I went for a walk. The new me is trying to work out what is causing these feelings, what were my triggers, what can I do to fix them. Eating won't fix my problems. Sitting on my tail won't fix my problems. They would just be there later but I would be fatter.
I hate feeling like this and the temptation not to write anything down was very strong. I feel good that I remained in control with my eating and am looking forward to waking up tomorrow a refreshed and happy person. The children will be going to childcare and I am taking the day off work so I can get some sleep and catch up with the housework. Then I think the clouds will start to lift and the sunshine can once again take over my life...
The new me is not doing that. The new me has stuck to my points, in fact I have eaten far fewer points than I should and I am trying to catch up. The new me still went for a walk - Ok I think I scared a few people with my scowly grumpy face - but I went for a walk. The new me is trying to work out what is causing these feelings, what were my triggers, what can I do to fix them. Eating won't fix my problems. Sitting on my tail won't fix my problems. They would just be there later but I would be fatter.
I hate feeling like this and the temptation not to write anything down was very strong. I feel good that I remained in control with my eating and am looking forward to waking up tomorrow a refreshed and happy person. The children will be going to childcare and I am taking the day off work so I can get some sleep and catch up with the housework. Then I think the clouds will start to lift and the sunshine can once again take over my life...
I know that feeling you are talking about. I wonder if it is the weather and/or the constant "being good" in terms of food? So you are eating less points too. Some days are just shitty and I have noticed that this week especially, rainy/dark weather does make people cranky. I hope you feel much better tomorrow *hugs*.
Posted by
Mary |
May 19, 2005 4:42 pm
I agree with Mary that sometimes the weather can make you feel cranky. We can't always be bright and breezy! Let's hope the sun is out tomorrow!
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 19, 2005 5:13 pm
I think you have been doing so much with so little time to yourself that it's no wonder you have been feeling like this. Are you eating enough every day, because when I first started this time around I wasn't quite managing to eat all my points every day and I know that I was much less tolerant of everything around me, and I realised I was hungry. Lol, sounds stupid, but it's true.
I hope you enjoy tomorrow, it sounds like what you need! Good on you for sticking to your points and everything today even though you didn't feel like it. That's what is going to get you to your goal. Also, enjoy your date tomorrow night!~ And, I hope you are feeling a bit happier soon.
One more thing - thanks heaps for all your supportive comments lately on my site, I appreciate it muchly!! :-)
Posted by
Kate |
May 19, 2005 7:04 pm
sometimes we're just grumpy. thats ok, its just how we deal with it that matters the most and you are obviously on the right track. good work :)
Posted by
Cat |
May 19, 2005 8:14 pm
Margaret, you should be so proud of yourself for the way you're dealing with this. Feeling like that is not fun but you are coping with it in a lot more positive and healthy way then the 'old you' would have. I hope a day off and some rest helps makes things a lot better for you. Enjoy tomorrow night!
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 19, 2005 10:00 pm
A friend said something to me when my son was very young. 'When you feel like it's all too much, go and watch your son sleep.' It was a piece of advice that has served me well through the years, an action that never feels to calm me and lift my spirits.
You know you will get through this, you are so much stronger now. This black time will pass and surely your spirits will rise.
Posted by
Sue |
May 20, 2005 6:35 am
Thank you for the honesty - I think that acknowledging that you aren't your normal happy self is great and the fact that you have dealt with it without resorting to your old habits is fantastic. Too often I get caught out after the fact and then it is too late as I have already eaten everything I am not supposed to ! Well done and I hope that the sun comes out soon for you.
Take care and be good.
Me
Posted by
Me |
May 20, 2005 8:38 am