Fear
Fear is not the thing to dread
Disrespect for fear should be feared instead.
During this journey I have to admit to being absolutely shit-scared that something would happen in my life and I would put myself in a situation where I allowed myself to gain back all weight lost and more. This fear, whilst not obsessive, was a way that I ensured I stuck to points, exercised appropriately, and did all the right things. Then I stopped being afraid. I realised that I could keep in control of my food and live my life and still be able to lose weight, or maintain when the time came.
But there is a difference between being unafraid and being blase. I fell into the blase catagory. The "she'll be right" mentallity that can serve well at other times does not always do so with weight loss. Each day I would pick at something extra and say "I'll walk that off" or I would eat something purposefully saying to myself "I deserve that" when really I had no intention of doing anything extra or would conveniently forget that I had to do it. The result of this has been an increase in weight to 78.8 yesterday. This is the weight I will begin with on Paulene's 12 week challenge and for me personally as I now wake up to what I have been doing and refocus.
I am still unafraid about gaining all my weight back. I won't give that fear the power it thinks it deserves, but I have stopped being blase. I UNDERSTAND the consequences of my actions and at the moment the only consequence I will accept is a legitimate weight loss or improvement in shape and/or fitness. So to ensure I get this consequence I have to be prepared to take the actions that will get me that result. And I am. And I am doing it. Every day.
Trackback
Points - 23.5
SP's - 6
Exercise - 30 min walk at Balmoral (easy), Total of 8,771 steps.
Disrespect for fear should be feared instead.
During this journey I have to admit to being absolutely shit-scared that something would happen in my life and I would put myself in a situation where I allowed myself to gain back all weight lost and more. This fear, whilst not obsessive, was a way that I ensured I stuck to points, exercised appropriately, and did all the right things. Then I stopped being afraid. I realised that I could keep in control of my food and live my life and still be able to lose weight, or maintain when the time came.
But there is a difference between being unafraid and being blase. I fell into the blase catagory. The "she'll be right" mentallity that can serve well at other times does not always do so with weight loss. Each day I would pick at something extra and say "I'll walk that off" or I would eat something purposefully saying to myself "I deserve that" when really I had no intention of doing anything extra or would conveniently forget that I had to do it. The result of this has been an increase in weight to 78.8 yesterday. This is the weight I will begin with on Paulene's 12 week challenge and for me personally as I now wake up to what I have been doing and refocus.
I am still unafraid about gaining all my weight back. I won't give that fear the power it thinks it deserves, but I have stopped being blase. I UNDERSTAND the consequences of my actions and at the moment the only consequence I will accept is a legitimate weight loss or improvement in shape and/or fitness. So to ensure I get this consequence I have to be prepared to take the actions that will get me that result. And I am. And I am doing it. Every day.
Trackback
Points - 23.5
SP's - 6
Exercise - 30 min walk at Balmoral (easy), Total of 8,771 steps.
Fear can certainly drive us but it looks like you have now turned it into a determination, a challenge! Well done.
Posted by
Mary |
April 26, 2006 6:30 pm
blase is a scary place to be, im coming out of it too. Like Mary said, fear into determination is excellent fuel for moving forward. you know you can do it :)
Posted by
Cat |
April 26, 2006 8:30 pm
Ohhhh we're exactly the same weight, but you are a mile taller than me!! LOL. I've been very blase too, time to kick myself up the backside and get back into it. I know i'll never go back to where I was, but I need to get back on the track to where i'm going, i've been having a break on the side of the road for way too long now. Oh and BTW 69 is just my mid June goal, i'm not sure what my real goal is. WW says 58 but I just think that's ludicrous (sp??). I'm going to see how I feel when I get to 65 and take it from there. Don't want to be too unrealistic!
Bri
Bri
Posted by
Briony |
April 26, 2006 9:35 pm
I just put my name twice incase you forgot who I was!! Ha ha ha ha ha......
Bri
Posted by
Briony |
April 26, 2006 9:36 pm